Linger

T H I R T E E N

With my mind in a tug of war between trying to win Daniel back & figuring out what exactly was going on between Tom and I were, break breezed by as well as the next classes after that and before I knew it, it was time for lunch and I couldn't tell if I was hungry or just anxious.

"Why aren't you sitting with Tom?" Sasha's voice brought me out of my whirlwind of thoughts.

"What?" I asked shaking my head as I tried to concentrate on eating my pasta.

"Yeah, why isn't he here? Or why aren't you, like, with him? Since you guys are together and all that," she said with an all-knowing smirk.

I just shrugged and turned my attention back to my lunch. 

Yet I could see Chelsea giving Sasha a harsh glare. Sasha just smiled.

"Okay then, tell me what happened with you two this morning! I want to hear everything!" Sasha exclaimed with an eager look on her flawless face.

"It's nothing. We're just going to meet up after the game Friday. That's all." I shrugged.

Sasha nearly choked on her drink. "That's all?!? Mads, come on!" she exclaimed, causing nearly the entire cafeteria to watch us now. "You just scored yourself a date with the hottest guy in school and you're treating it like it's nothing!" she whispered harshly. "Are you feeling alright?" she reached her hand toward my forehead.

"Um, yes. I'm fine, Sasha." I sighed and pushing her hand away.  

She simply raised an eyebrow and returned to her lunch.

"Going out with Tom is kinda a big deal, Mads," Chelsea spoke up.

"Yeah, Sasha does have a point actually," Alice agreed and we all exchanged looks. "I mean, if you think about it, he's the star of the team taking you out after his big game. That doesn't happen very often," she said sincerely.

"Yeah, you know how guys are." Sasha huffed. "They practice, they play their game then they all disappear together into their man cave & all that for the rest of the night. Girls don't even exist to them on game days."

"Unless it's homecoming," Chelsea said pointing a finger at Sasha and we all broke into laughter.

"Seriously though, Maddie," Alice said, her serious gaze holding mine. "You don't have to put this pressure on yourself if you don't want to. If you don't feel ready yet. Remember that. Being with Tom comes with a lot. He's the most popular guy in school."

"Not to mention the hottest," Sasha said, gazing dreamily in the distance.

I wanted to disagree and say that title actually belonged to Daniel but my mind reminded me that I had moved on now . . . haven't I? 

I mean, that's why I was with Tom now, right? Because Daniel and I were over and now I was going on a date with Tom on Friday. 

If all that was really true, then why couldn't I stop doubting this? Why couldn't I stop having second thoughts about whether Tom and I should really go together or not? Why was I denying it every time my friends brought it up? 

And why couldn't I stop thinking about him? Why did the thought of him linger still in the back of my mind? Why did I still feel something every time I saw those brown eyes?

"I've gotta get going. Grab a few things from my locker," I told the girls as I quickly cleaned up my things. Truth was, I just needed to get some fresh air and time for myself to just think and sort my thoughts out.

"Then we'll head out?" Sasha's eyes lit up as she stood up from the table with me.

"Head out?" I questioned her, exchanging looks with Alice and Chelsea.