So Human

Ten things I hate about you

1. I hate how indecisive you are.

2. I hate how when I leave my guard up, prepared for you to say no, you say yes. I hate how the second I let my guard drop, you change your mind and break my heart again.

3. I hate how you're the reason why I am how I am. No one really knows me. The happy-go-lucky persona that I carry is one that I dream of. The truth is, I'm not a happy person. I have my good moments but I'm almost always in pain. And I don't want to live like this.

4. I hate when you won't let me be who I want to be. A respectable profession is not a middle school teacher to you, but it is to me. It's something that would bring me joy and fulfillment and though I am young, I know what I want.

5. I hate that when I act against you, I have to do something as insignificant as possible. Anything else, is seen immediately and resolved with a belt to the stomach. I guess spitting on your pillow will have to do for now.

6. I hate when you take away my voice. When you ask me a question with a belt poised threateningly in your hand, you know that you have the upper hand, and all the power. When I say what you want to hear, and you act like I came to that point on my own, I want to scream, but all I do is shut my mouth, let the tears of frustration fall and cross my fingers

7. I hate you when you convince me to forget to hate you.

8. I hate when you remind me to hate you and I hate the blistering pain that follows when I realize that I must be powerless against you, because after all the times you've hurt me, I should know better.

9. I hate that you don't know how much I hate you.

10. I hate that you will never know how much I hate you.