Caspar
With a grieving heart I moved quickly to abruptly press the button by my bed that brung the nurse to me.
She came in with shortance of breath, and asked me what was wrong.
'Is there still time to have the treatment?' I asked, with a heavy head.
'Of course! Are you sure this is what you want?' She replied, happier than i seemed to be.
'..yeah, I guess so' I answered, unsure, but sure of wanting to do whatever I could to make me feel at one with Joe again.
'I'll let the doctor know straight away, and we'll get chemo started as soon as we can' she smiled lightly.
•••
Chemo over. I was exhausted. I'd never been in so much pain, but if it gave me enough time to have that last piece of Joe, the pain was worth it.
The realisation he was really gone hadn't sunk in yet. He still feels real, its like my heart knows he is alive but in my head I know the truth.
This is all my fault..
If I'd have just listened to him in the first place, and had gotten the treatment, maybe this wouldn't have happened. And now because I left it a while, I still wont have as long as I could have. Why was I so selfish? I didn't want this. I never wanted any of this. I miss him. I miss his sweet smile and natural scent. I miss his messy hair and bushy eyebrows. God, how I just miss Joe. Could we not have had one more day?
At the thought, I drifted off to sleep, in hope that soon I could hop on the plane to Rome.
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Ficmas day 22
Urm. So its been 9 days since i updated. I've been sooooo bad at ficmas this year, I'm sorry. To make up for it ill make sure i update Abit after Christmas.
All my love x
YOU ARE READING
Is it too Late?
Fanfiction(A Jaspar Fanfiction) 'I choose you. And I'll choose you over and over and over again. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you. I've fallen for you, and this feeling is inevitable' A story about how one girl strides in...
