Is it too Late?

Four

Hailey

As soon as the hot substance entered my mouth, it became on fire. Literal. Fire.

'Caspar what type of chilli is this?!' I panicked, sweating and wafting my hand around- attempting to cool me down.

'Just a normal chilli.' He shrugged, like it was nothing.

'Just a normal chilli?!? This is no normal chilli' my eyes watered, squeezing the bed sheet in my hand, to try and soften the pain.

Joe just sat there smiling on the odd occasion, maybe letting out a small laugh; but not really saying anything.

I read the bottle of burning sauce and read the '5 chillis' sign, meaning it's the hottest you can get of that brand. Great.

'I'm gonna be just fine' i thought to myself.

After swallowing the red, hot sauce, i ran over to their table and downed a bottle of water within the space of a few seconds. I let out a long sigh of relief as the fire inside my mouth died down.

'I hope nobody wanted that' i laughed.

I know i shouldn't be like this on a professional job, but there's no harm- is there? If i was invited by them surely its ok; but i guess i really shouldn't be consuming chilli sauce and swearing as much as i was.
But it can be accepted seen as me and Joe know eachother- right?

It just feels right to be doing this; we all get on really well, and it's only the first night.

Joe

I watched her laugh off the hottness of the chilli sauce, and as i was, i wonderd what i'd missed over the past few years. Birthdays, christmases, meals, education, grades, her love life, her overall happiness...

I should have been there for her.

I guess i can't do anything about it now, but if I could, i'd definitely change it. Thinking about it; my biggest mistake was parting ways with Hailey, i mean- she was my bestest friend... And i just abandoned that. Looking back, she truly meant everything to me. When i'd get involved with the wrong crowd, she would sort me out and get me back on track again. And i guess without that i wouldn't be where i am today. God knows where i'd be. For all i know, right now i could be living on the streets if i would have made the wrong decision.

•°•°•°•°•

Hailey had left our hotel room now, it was 23:34. Me and Caspar also have our first signing tomorrow, so it's not a great idea to go to sleep late.

As Caspar locked the door behind Hailey, he collapsed back onto his bed and let out a long sigh and closed his eyes tight.

'What's wrong?' I asked, turning my head to face him.

'Nothing. Just thinking.' He replied after a while.

With the look on his face I could tell it wasn't just 'nothing'. There was obviously something wrong. He might not want to tell me, but i can't stand seeing Caspar upset. So i had to get it out of him.

I stood up off of my bed and walked over to his. I plonked myself down and lay next to him.

'Come on, i know it's not just nothing' i said, looking him straight in the eye.

'Well.. Have you ever been in love so much that it hurts?' He asked, sighing once again as he opened his eyes, gazing at the white patterned ceiling.

'Yes i've been in love..' I said, mumbling slightly.

'Well it hurts like a b**** right now.' He added.

'Well, who is it?' I questioned him.

'Who is what?' He asked, his gaze now meeting mine.

'Who are you in love with?' I asked again, whilst taking in his light shade of blue eyes.

'Oh.. Just somebody' he mumbled.

'It's not Hailey already, is it?' My eyes widened.

'No' he chuckled slightly. 'Not just yet'

'Just tell me one thing' he looked deeply into my eyes.

'What?'

'What happens if you know that one person you like would never go for you, and it hurts you even more just thinking about it.. Because i know it'll never be real' Caspar replied, looking as though he could break into tears any second.

He now sat up, so i copied.

'Casp, i'm always here if you need anything to talk about' i said sympathetically, hugging him.

'It's not like you to be sloppy' He chuckled, changing the subject.

'Oh very funny' i fake laughed, punching his right arm.

And just like that- we drew a line under the subject and Caspar seemed to be his normal self again.

Sometimes i'll just watch him. At one moment he will be laughing and joking with somebody: as everybody sees him. However, once that person is gone his whole body language changes along with his emotions.
His body will slump low, and his face will drop like you'd never seen.

Sometimes he worried me. Caspar does mean a lot to me- he's always been there for me, making YouTube slightly easier in some ways as he's there supporting me.

It's just not knowing what's going on in his head is what is worrying me.