Is it too Late?

Twenty Two

Hailey

Trying to get over Joe was hell. I Tried to forget the way his smile brightened the whole room, and the way his eyes shone the deep blue of the ocean, and the way his scent lured me in, but it was easier said than done. He was too addictive. God, how I loved him. Even more, I needed him. I needed him like bees need pollen, I needed him the way that bees always go back to the same flower which keeps it's colours bright. Joe made me bright, he made me radiant, he made me happy.

But now he was gone. I understand our time together was short, and I understand that he never really loved me; that he always loved Caspar. But I like to think that at one point, he did look at me with all the love in his eyes. And that he did think 'god, she's the best thing I've ever had'. And I know that he never did say or think those things, but at the moment it's the only thing keeping me going.

I know we'll never get to have our time again, so that's why I can't see him, I can only keep him in my thoughts; that way I can let the feelings wash away. Whereas if I saw him again, those feelings would come back in a heartbeat; and I didn't want to feel that pain again.

I know Joe asked to be friends, but I just can't right now. I can't.

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Hey guys! I feel like i haven't written a little note on my writing in ages ahah. How are you all? I hope you're enjoying the story so far, and I hope you're enjoying your summer holiday so far too!
I'm going on holiday for a week on Saturday so i'll either update a lot because I like writing on holiday, or i won't at all because I want to chill- there'll be no inbetween haha.
Anyways, see you soon!x