You Are My Life

Chapter 25- Smile

Michaels p.o.v.

“Perfect!” I smiled and kissed the paper as I sat it back down on the piano. I had finished the song for Saria and I couldn’t help but think this would fix things, just maybe. Getting up from my seat at the piano I decided now would be the best time to go get Saria. I made my way out of the studio and up to the stairs. The whole way I couldn’t help but smile thinking of what it will be like to see Saria’s smile again. Oh how I’ve missed my baby girl’s happiness. I heard mumbling from within the bedroom, I stopped before opening the door and just listened for a minute.  “When I lost the baby something inside of me changed, and I pushed him away. He was the only one around to care for me and I pushed him so far away. He found out I was taking some medication to sleep the other night and got really upset cause I took more than I should have. I really shouldn’t have taken them in the first place…and now he’s mad at me……I hurt him bad and I don’t think he loves me anymore…” she was crying trying her best to hold back the sound. My heart broke; my baby thought I didn’t love her anymore. This whole situation took a bad turn and it was my fault for blowing up on her last night, I should have just talked to her calmly and maybe she would have opened up to me. Slightly disturbed by the fact she thought I’d give up on her that quickly, I walked into the room and made my way over to the dresser. I stood there silently thinking while she continued to talk on the phone. Wait…who was she even talking to?  “Look, I have to go but thank you so much for listening. I miss you and love you.” Who is it? Is it someone I should know? She held the phone to her ear a little while longer and then clicked the end button and set it down. My head shot up when I realized she was done talking to this person. She shyly looked up at me and she looked like she was about to cry. I stood in my place quietly as she made her way to me. She pressed her hands to my chest as she looked down sniffling. “I’m so so so sorry Michael, please don’t hate me……love me…” I lifted her chin up to look me in the eyes. Tears spilled out making their way down her delicate face. I gently wiped as many of them away as I could, still not sure what I had just witnessed. Should I be questioning her about who she was talking to? Should I be worried? I couldn’t help it, slight jealousy made itself present as she continued to sob into my chest. While rubbing her back the words slipped out unintentionally, “Who were you talking to?” she let go of me and looked up with a pained look, “What I can’t talk to people now? Michael I don’t know if you realize but I’m a person who needs to be able to have contact with people outside of you! I’m sorry I wasn’t aware that being with you meant I couldn’t make contact with my friends and family.” The sarcasm in her tone made me irritated. I sighed rubbing the bridge of my nose trying to keep calm, “Saria I never said you couldn’t call anyone especially your family and friends, by all means.” “Then what’s the problem Michael?” she asked obviously irritated. “All I asked was who you were talking to!”  “Why does it matter Michael!!” she yelled frustrated. “Why does it matter? You wanna know why it matters??? I’m sorry as the man that loves you, the one who wants to be there for you through everything, I have problem with you talking to someone else about it, especially if it’s another guy. I’m sorry I have a problem with you refusing to open up to me, the man who loves you, but completely fine telling some other man!!!” I rubbed my temples trying to calm myself again. Saria stood there silently looking at me as if I just killed a puppy in front of her. “Saria… what’s wrong?” she was silent for a while longer. I sighed, this conversation was just going to be a rerun of the one we had earlier. “I wasn’t talking to another guy, Michael. You’re the only one for me. I-I know I haven’t be the best girlfriend, but please understand. I was talking to one of my best friends from St. Louis, Abby. I needed to talk to her because I wasn’t sure when you were ever going to talk to me again.” She was fighting back sniffles again and my heart softened up. I sighed, “Babygirl, you know I can’t stay mad at you for too long. I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions…. I-I just don’t want you to slip through my fingers anymore than I feel you have. Please, for my sake, if you ever need anything or just someone to cry on, let me be that person for you. I do love you Saria, more than you’ll ever know.” I held her hands pulling her into my arms; she laid her head on my chest as I ran my hand through her hair. Her sniffles finally stopped and she felt at ease in my hold, her soft voice broke the silence, “and Michael?” “Yes?” I whispered still running my fingers through her long, soft, blonde hair. She pulled away and looked into my eyes very carefully, her bright blue-green’s drawing mine into her, “I love you, so so so much,” she choked out the last word. My heart fluttered a littler hearing her say that, I slid my hand up the side of her face resting my fingers in her hair and my thumb on the side of her face, my other hand resting on her hip, I pulled her into me meeting her soft, warm lips with mine. The passion was present the moment my lips touched hers, heartbeats quickening, eyes closing, bodies nearing closer and closer. My head begin spinning as we held the kiss out longer, Christ! The things she does to me. I reluctantly pulled away leaning my forehead against hers with a grin plastered across my face, “Gurl, you keep that up you’re gonna start something you can’t finish.” She looked up at me in shock, giggling as she playfully slapped me on the chest. I chuckled as I grabbed her hand pulling her out of the room. Her giggles erupted when I scooped her up and ran down the hall and stairs with her in my arms in large bounds. “Where are we going applehead!” I stuck my tongue out at her, “Nowhere you need to know, it’s a surprise!” “What kind of surprise?” “You’ll see soon enough.” Nearing the wing of the house where the studio was, I asked her cover her eyes. I let her down outside the door and opened it for her. “Okay babygirl, you can look now.” She opened her eyes and let out a gasp, “Oh Michael…..babe that’s beautiful.” In the dance studio I had set up the piano in the middle of the room with rose petals scattered everywhere and candles place all around the room, some across the top of the piano. I kissed her hand and led her to sit next to me on the piano bench, “last night after I left, I realized how uncalled for my outbreak was, I should have let you try to explain….and the fact that I yelled when you’ve been through so much……Baby I’m really sorry.” She pecked my cheek and gave me a reassuring smile. I smiled back and continued, “An idea for a song hit me and I wrote it, it’s called ‘Smile’. This is for you Saria.” She cuddled up next to me and laid her head on my shoulder looking at me then to the piano in anticipation. I took a deep breath and begin to play the intro letting the music take over. The sweet melodic lines begin to put me at ease as I opened my mouth to sing,

“Smile though your heart is aching, smile even though it’s breaking. When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by. If you smile with your pain and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow, you’ll find that life is still worth while, if you just smile.  Light up your face with gladness, hide every trace of sadness. Although a tear maybe ever so near, that’s the time you must keep on trying, smile what’s the use of crying. You’ll find that life is still worth while, if you just…. Smile though your heart is aching, smile even though it’s breaking. When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by. If you smile through your fear and sorrow, Smile and maybe tomorrow, you’ll find that life is still worth while, if you just smile. That’s the time you must keep on trying, smile what’s the use of crying, you’ll find that life is still worth while, if you just……..smile,”

 I continued playing the piano as I hummed the melody. It finally came to an end and I could hear sniffling next to me, I reached down and smiled at her. “Baby don’t cry,” I giggled wiping the tears coursing down her face. “I’m sorry…..it’s so beautiful….thank you.” I held her delicate face in my hands looking into her tear stained eyes, I reached down and gently grazed my lips against hers, “dance with me,” I whispered against her. With her small hand in mine, I helped her up and walked to the middle of the room. I swayed with Saria in my arms as I hummed quietly, soon breaking out into the actual words, “That’s the time you must keep on trying, smile what’s the use of crying, you’ll find that life is still worth while, if you just smile.” She laid her head and hand on my chest as I continued to swirl and sway with her. God I love her, to the extents my words fail to explain just exactly how much.