You Are My Life

Chapter 20- Gone too soon

Michaels p.o.v.

They whisked her away from my grasp when we made it to the hospital. I crawled out and followed them into the building, more doctors showed up and followed along side of her gurney as they pulled her into a room. They closed the door in my face, I stood frozen outside of the door, what was I supposed to do? I pulled out my phone and called Mother, “Oh hello Michael, how are you?” I sobbed over the phone trying not to break down, “Mother I need you here with me…please” “Honey what’s wrong? Where are you? Are you okay?” “I’ll tell you when you get here, I’m at the hospital.” “Oh my! I-I’ll be right there….Everything will be alright honey.” And with that I hung up. I put my phone back in my pocket as I slid down the wall burying my face in my hands. I did my best to hold in my tears but it felt like everything I loved was being ripped from my grasp in one pull. My Saria; the love of my life, the child we were going to raise together, her bright smile and angelic laugh, her kind heart and beautiful soul, my one and only. I felt numb to everything, all the noise and commotion slowed to silence around me as if time itself had slowed down just to torment me further in this agonizing moment. After what felt like eternity someone tapped on my shoulder, I looked up and one of the nurses I had watched rush into the room earlier stood before me. “Mr. Jackson, Miss. Hart is now stable and can have visitors if you would like to go in, you may.” Before she finished her sentence I stood up and rushed into the room. I walked in to complete silence other than the fragile beeping of the heart monitor. Everything in the room felt stiff and uneasy, even her small frail body. Wait……small, how could she look so small, she was eight months pregnant? I ran to the side of the bed and covered every area of her body with warm kisses. “Oh my god Saria, Baby I’m so sorry this happened. Please wake up and let me know you’re okay…..please open those beautiful eyes of yours. Please……” I put her cold dainty hand up to my face as I let a few tears escape. I closed my eyes remembering the way she giggled and smiled, how happy she was before. I felt her fingers twitch next to my cheek. They moved to caress my cheek, and held it so softly. My eyes shot open as I looked to see her move a little bit more, her eyes begin to open. “Saria? Baby can you hear me?” She turned her head and rubbed her eyes as if she had just slept the entire day, “Mikey? Where am I? What’s that annoying noise?” she tried to sit up and of course the concern in me flipped out. I helped her sit up and fluffed the pillows so she could sit up comfortably. “Hun you’re in the hospital, you fell and blacked out in the bathroom and I was so worried, I thought I lost the love of my life.” She smiled at me as she let out a huge sigh, her hand moved up to caress my cheek. “Oh Mikey I could never leave you, for nothing.” I held her hand and laid sweet kissed on each finger so full of happiness that she was fine. But I still couldn’t figure out why she even passed out let alone the reason why she was smaller than she was earlier. A nurse came in and brought a tray with a water cup and a small container with some pills, “Here you go Miss Hart, these pills are going to help your soreness from the procedure. I’ll be over there looking over you paperwork if you need anything.” She walked behind me to the medical counter with a file in hand. Saria looked at her questioningly and then at me, I gave her a quizzical look as well. I was just as lost as she was. She went to grab the pill container and then stopped dead in her tracks, “Excuse me, what happened to my baby bump? I’m eight months pregnant! I should be huge, I WAS huge! What procedure did I have!?!?!?!” She started flipping out and breathing hard, her heart monitor began beeping double the rate. The nurse turned around and ran to the bed side, “Ma’am please calm down, we had to induce labor while you were out.” She let a sigh out, “Oh is my child okay? I want to see my baby, please let me see.” The nurse looked at me with sadden eyes, I was so lost in this entire thing, “Ma’am can you please let us see the baby?” I asked wondering why she was saddened by this. “Umm, it’s being cleaned right now. You can see it before it’s sent to the morgue.” My heart dropped and Saria broke down in sobs. “W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE MORGUE? WHAT HAPPENED?” “Ma’am when you fell, it caused some spinal damage to the baby, it killed her instantly.” She went hysterical, “MY BABY GIRL IS DEAD, SHES GONE!!!!” she threw the cup against the wall and water went everywhere. She begin pulling the iv’s and cords out of her, “Baby please lay down and rest, this is a lot to take in. Please…” “NO MICHAEL I WILL NOT!!!!! I WANNA GO HOME AND GET AWAY FROM THIS GODDAMN NIGHTMARE, I JUST LOST MY ONLY CHILD BEFORE I EVEN HAD THE CHANCE TO MEET HER!!!” her knees gave in and she fell in my arms violently sobbing. I held her in my chest and I stroked her hair trying to keep her calm. The nurse stood there frightened. “Can she go home or is she needed to stay the night?” “Let me go get the doctor and see if I can find out.” “Thank you.” I held her the entire time feeling her warm wet tears soak through my shirt, “Shhhh baby it’ll be okay, we’ll get through this.” “Michael how could I? I was supposed to protect her and love her and I killed her!!” “Saria, look at me,” I pulled her away and lifted her chin to look up at me. I wiped the tears running from her eyes with my thumbs as I gently caressed her face. “It wasn’t your fault, some things happen for a reason, only god may know but we have to trust that it was for the best.” She burrowed in my chest again, “I just wanna go home and stay in bed with you, this place makes me sad.” She sniffled through my shirt. The doctor came in about five minutes later and gave us the release forms; I headed out to the desk to fill them out as Saria stayed in the room and changed out of the hospital gown. Standing near the desk was mother with the most concern on her face, “Oh Michael what happened? Are you okay?” I hugged her and felt a little better, “Mother, Saria and I lost the baby. She blacked out and fell. They rushed her in here and did a procedure to remove the baby, it’s gone….” I said trying to hold back the tears I so badly wanted to cry. “Oh my goodness that’s horrible, I’m so sorry Michael.” She hugged me once again; she pulled back and looked me dead in the eyes. “Michael you need to do everything possible for her, she’s going to need your love and support for awhile, loosing a child is one of the hardest things a mother can go through, I remember loosing Brandon. I don’t know if I would have made it without all my little babies there to keep me happy, but Saria lost her one and only, her very first. She’s going to need you more than ever, and this will truly test your love for one another. You’re going to have to be really patient with her, she’s going to feel gone and depressed for awhile, she lost a part of herself in that hospital room today. Give her time to grieve, and never question if she still loves you, because she does.” I wrapped my arms around my mother, “Thank you Mother, I will do everything I can for the woman I love so much.” I finished signing the papers and Saria came out to the reception area fully dressed. “You ready my love?” I asked reaching my hand out. She nodded her head and latched onto me. And with that we left for home.