Bet Me

Chapter 14

James POV

It was never until that day that I truly wished I were a better guy for the people around me. Before that day I had never cared about my actions or others but seeing Savannah cry that day had changed my perspective. I wasn't sure I had the heart to tell her that I kept pushing my mom away after her attempts to be in my life. I was great at holding grudges, and that was my initial plan.

I find myself on the front porch of my moms house today, examining the chalk drawings on the front porch and the neighbor kids playing outside. I felt embarrassed being here, almost like I should never show my face to her again. I was an awful person for the majority of my life, and the people around me put up with that.

"James?" My mother stood there in a bright purple tank top and some work out pants staring right back at me. She must've either went to check the mail, or saw me through the window. If I had wanted to back out now, it was too late. 

"Yeah. I. Uh. Can we talk?" 

I had never stepped foot in my mothers home. When she tried to get back into my life and invited me over for the holidays, I rudely declined. Truth be told, I never celebrated the holidays at all. Even when my dad insisted I should at least show up, even for an hour, I would steer clear to another hook up. The kitchen table was wooden, round, and small. I sat down adjacent from her. 

"What is it son?" I was surprised that her tone was rather eager, waiting patiently for any news I decided to throw at her. She didn't seem like she would have held a grudge towards me that much. As much as I pushed her away, she would've willingly came back at any time when I asked.

"Look mom." I interlaced my hands together tightly into a ball and stared intensely at them, hoping that this void would go away. Apologizing, believe it or not, was the easy part. Rather she cared enough to accept, well that was a different story.  "I'm sorry. For everything. You didn't deserve me ignoring and pushing you away all of these years." I bite my lip sharply and my gaze meets hers. My eyes fill with hope and promise. "Some people don't have mothers, but I do. A damn good one that tried for years to be in my life." I thought of Savannah, holding back my tears briefly. I was never known to be a mothers boy or to feel these types of emotions but here I was.

"I understand what I did to you, James. I know why you would hate me. I will never be able to change my actions, son. But you better believe I love you. I always did. Then and now." Tears stream down her face quickly and I wrap my arms around her tightly.

"People make mistakes. Please forgive me." I found myself balling, tears drip gently down on her bare shoulder. It was the first real time I ever remembered embracing my mother, to feel her soft skin hold me or to smell her freshly washed hair.

"Of course, James. I love you."

It was like one of those acquaintances at school. You know, the  person you may say a few words to or acknowledge but you never really have a conversation with them. That's how it was talking to my mother. The the rest of my day had been full of crying, laughing, and learning important life lessons from my mother. I never understood how smart and experienced this woman truly was. 

"Hey mom I got to get going soon." I just got done laughing at a story about her high school prom when I checked my phone. "But before I go, I want to ask you something."

"Anything sweetheart." I could see the happiness emerge from her soft eyes, her skin glowing with warmness. 

"Would you like to meet my girlfriend?"

"Honey I'm confused." 

Ignoring what my dad probably told her about my love life, "You're going to love her. Actually, she kind of opened my eyes a little bit. Made me think, ya know?"

"I'd love that sweetheart." 

The car drive back to my apartment had me feeling refreshed and I knew this feeling was one that I never wanted to forget. I had to ask Savannah to officially be my girlfriend. Calling the bet off with Katie should have been easy since I had already figured out what I was going to major in.