for you

fuck

Today is my first day back to school. I was hoping that you would help me insure that I would do good. I know it sounds pathetic but you help me calm down so.
You won't text me back. Roles reversed, huh? Now I have a feeling to how you felt. Sorry 'bout that. Please answer me. I want to solve this, I don't want to fight.

--
It's 5:18pm, am for you. You still won't answer me. I actually think you blocked me; I'm not surprised. I'm not blaming you for anything. My mind just blanked out and sailed things I didn't mean. I don't want to lose you. Please text me back.
You didn't reply back, but I got the message.
--
It's currently 6:20pm, you finally answered. Thank god.
--
It's now Thursday, 2:30am. I haven't slept yet. You haven't texted me back.
Is this goodbye?

If so, I'm sorry. We had an amazing run, but I can't fix this if you don't want me around-if you don't want to answer me. If you're sorting out your feelings, that's great. I'm happy for you.

Please find someone in this lifetime. Someone who will love you for you. Someone who will give you everything you want and need and more. You deserve galaxies and planets and universes. You saved me. I owe you so much. But, you also owe yourself a lot too, you know?

You deserve peace and stability. I do not bring either one of those things to you and it's literally all I preach about so that's pretty...fucked?

Not sure if I ever told you but, my brother and his girlfriend have a really fucked up relationship. They fight every time they talk; but other times they're all over each other. My brother is the instigator. Maybe it runs in the blood or something? I'm sorry I start all these pointless arguments. But this argument had true feelings behind it.

I believe you don't fight for me anymore. And I know in the previous chapters, I was profusely stating my love for you. You would literally just say thank you. That kind of hurt.

You know, because I always dreamt of getting good morning and good night texts by a special someone. That's why I wanted to be in a relationship so much when I was younger. For those little things. My sister's boyfriend sends paragraphs declaring his love for her still. Handwritten letters pinned on the fridge. I mean that's the kind of love I want.

I know you're not like that. But it was what I was looking for. I'm not asking you to write me a whole novel and for you to write everything you feel.

I just want a chance to see what is on your mind. I never get to, it sucks. You always get to see mine. I suck at writing, but I still write you things.

I sound so pathetic and needy right now. It's really late and my eyes are puffy and blood shot.
School was really good by the way; all my classes are perfect. Just wanted you to know.

I can't do this much longer, i think Christmas after I send this to you, you won't hear from me. Get prepared, this may be the only thing I left.

I just read this really sad story and I ended up crying. Seems like all I've been doing lately. But yeah.