for you

i'm not sure how to feel anymore

I'm really tired. School started and I literally stressed out for no reason at all. I wish we talked more.

I can't sleep at night. I haven't slept since I went back to school. And it's only just begun, I'm really terrified what I'm going to be like in three months. If I cut you off, it's for the best. I become this person who no one can recognize.

It's scary and I become mean. You weren't really the only I took everything out on. I took it out on a lot of people. Just there was more to say to you. And it was hard to distance my self from you, because you...I worry about. I know my friends will see me at school and I can see that they're fine. But if I ignore you, I don't know if I'll ever talk to you again.

My life without you...I don't even know what I would do. You are the only person I tell all my problems to.

You say that I have other friends, but I'm not as comfortable. I know my one friend, I told her one of my biggest secrets that I wanted her to keep to herself..we were hanging out one day with my family and she told my brother. So I don't really trust her that much anymore. I can feel us drifting apart. She's in band and I'm not and we have classes together, but she has different friends and so do I. I don't want to lose her--I can't lose her. We have too many promises that weren't claimed yet.
I'm so very tired. I have mixed feelings. I don't know how I feel about you anymore.

I wish I could make these longer, but I am trying and I have been making more chapters, ya best give me some cred.

School is so tiring. I told my mom that and she said that she knows it is. That she already went through it. But people are different. I can't stand waking up early in the morning just to sit in different classrooms with people I don't want to be breathing the same oxygen as, with teachers who couldn't give a fuck about you. Just as long as they get their checks. We haven't even got into real work yet, I mean I had Spanish homework. I really like it. I hate my gym class. I don't like the people in it. There's 20 kids. I like the one girl but she's very awkward and I can't deal with that.

They holidays are coming up soon, which means I'll have some more time off. Well not until like November. For thanksgiving, then December I have two weeks off for Christmas. Hopefully we will still be talking. Not that I doubt we will, you just never know what will happen.

I think I'm going to go to bed, you just texted me. But I'm really really really really really tired.
I hope you have a good night/good day/ good evening. I hope you are well.