for you

about you

wanted, not needed.

man, i don't even know how to describe her. she's probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. i'm really bad at expressing it, i try to show her by writing but sometimes i think she doesn't like it.

i love her so much, and it is weird..i never even met her. she knows everything about me...i even lied to her a few times. i texted her while i was drunk and did some things i wouldn't usually do when i am sober. i never truly understood when people always got sad when someone didn't text them back..until i met her.

fuckkkkkk I NEED HER SO MUCH. SO FUCKING MUCH.

I WANT HER SO MUCH. SO FUCKING MUCH.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

I NEED HER.

I WANT HER.

but need and want are two different things.

example: you need oxygen. you want love.

you need water. you want her.
you need to go to the grocery store and get food. you want her to be in your arms.

you need to stop crying, your eyes are puffy and bloodshot. you want to kiss her until she sucks the oxygen out of your lungs, as she smiles while you're catching your breath.

you need to stop being mean to people, they won't want to be around you anymore. you want to give her something you have never given to anyone else, give her you, hoping she will do the same in return.

you need to stop putting yourself last. you want to love her as if there is nothing else to do in this world.

you need to stop beating yourself up over the past. you want to give her everything she wants, you want to make sure she never feels miserable ever again, you want to show her that true love is real and that she deserves it.

you need to smile more. you want to be the one that she thinks about before she falls asleep, you want to be her 2am and her 2pm thoughts.

you need to be more free. you want to be there for her.

you need to give yourself more credit for things you do. you want to intertwine your hands together in public, showing the world she is yours..and yours only.

you need to stop being so uptight. you want to shower her in kisses and hear her infectious laugh and then tell her how much you love her while she's nearing sleep.

you need to buy new shoes, the ones you wear now are old and worn out. you want to hug her until people have to pry you off of her.

you should have more feelings, you are numb and hollow anymore, feel things..you're human it's okay. you want to kiss her until you can't feel your lips anymore, until they are swollen from her mouth and the amazing things it does and says..this will make you smile from ear to ear.

you need to go on more walks, see nature and its true form. you want to spend all of your time with her, never leaving her side and never getting tired of her.

you need to appreciate art more. you want to tell her she is art.

you need to go out more. you want to take her out to eat and treat her special, never taking her for granted and never ever giving up on her.

you need to show yourself that you are more than just a beating heart and a chaotic brain. you need to tell her she is the only reason your heart is beating and why you go crazy whenever you think about her.

you need to stop complicating things, go with your gut and stick with it. you want to tell her how much you love her and how she is the only thing you think of, how you have never felt this way about another human being.

you need to stop smoking, you're not going to be able to breathe. you want her to take your breath away as soon as you see her, you want to lose your breath every single time she kisses you, you want her to make you gasp for air as her pupils are dilated staring back at you as she licks her lips getting ready for another round.
you need to be more realistic, you can't have her.

you want her, but you don't have her.

sometimes, somethings aren't needed but are highly wanted. i wanted her so badly, but maybe just not enough..maybe if i tried harder.

i don't need her. but i want her.
the one person i actually fell for lives in a different continent. what's the point? why did i fall for her if i don't know how to love?

i know she tries her hardest for me. i think.

//i'm sorry i didn't try hard enough on you. it seems like you don't want me anymore and that's okay, you don't seem to need me anymore. you're becoming more independent and getting more friends to talk to instead of me. i am so proud of you.//