Abusive relationship

Chapter 5

It was the morning now and Jake still wasn't home. I couldn't help but feel constantly on edge as I walked to school - he does this all the time to me and it's starting to become obvious. I know that there's a girl out there who he is seeing. There are tons of gorgeous girls in my school who would date Jake in an instant. I found it understandable, Jake had an aura about him which was so mysterious and interesting. I experienced it when I first met him. But little do these girls know how lucky they were to not have the privilege of knowing who the real Jake is. 

Walking to school without Jake was always a struggle. There were tons of rumours going around about me, and I'd get guys coming up to me all the time, trying to impress the girl they're with by being "funny". Sometimes the girl would stand up for me, but most of the time I could see them sniggering, feeding the guy's ego. They knew I wouldn't tell Jake about them, they knew I didn't have the self-respect to do so. Sometimes they'd ask me about Jake and make jokes about how he wouldn't let me speak. But deep down I could tell that they weren't joking, and actually knew that what they were saying was true. I'm pretty sure all the "populars" knew that something was going on between us, something bad. I just wish they wouldn't make fun of it and respect my feelings.

Luckily I didn't encounter anyone today. Instead, I saw Oliver who was on the other side of the street. I obsereved the way he walked towards our school's building, dragging his bike with him whilst scrolling through his phone. Though his legs moved slowly he still managed to walk faster than any other surrounding person, his tall figure poking through the crowds of hurrying students. His posture resembled one of a ballet dancer - strong, erect and graceful. His blonde hair was ruffled from his night's sleep, carelessly flopping over his eyes as he remained focused on his phone's screen. Suddenly, I felt panic rush through me when I remembered the message I had sent him the other night. I immediately looked forwards, embarrassed by how desperate I was acting, but found myself staring at him again, entraped by his ruly presence. 

"You alright?" Oliver asked me suddenly,  his face turned to the side as he stared at me with raised eyebrows. 

I went to open my mouth but found myself lost for words, only managing to express inaudible mumbels. His face beamed a refreshing happiness as he melted into a smile, clearly amused by my embarrassment. "I read your message. Do you want my number instead?"

"U-uh, yes... that would be nice." That would be nice? Who says that! I wanted the floor to swallow me whole the second Oliver crossed the road to walk beside me. My hands were visibly trembling as they reached inside my coat pocket to grab my phone, and I silently begged that he wouldn't be able to notice. Luckily his eyes were stuck to his own device. 

"Maia, right?" He asked after moving his phone in front of my eyes, signalling me to take it. I nodded, too embarrassed to talk, and began typing in my number. I breathed in his aroma after he gently took his phone out of my hand, his arm crossing my face. It was a refreshing smell, one which resembled fresh laundry. "My name's Oliver. I'll send you a text and see if you receive it." 

I couldn't wipe the grin off my face as I watched him send me a message, his hand typing on his phone whilst the other steadily held his bike. I hadn't felt this excited in a long time. After opening my phone and confirming that I recieved it, it buzzed and a message from Jake appeared. I quickly moved my phone away, but it was clear that Oliver had already seen it. 

"Why didn't you wait for me? You should be grateful I let you off last night." 

"U-uh he's just joking." I let out a nervous laugh whilst avoiding eye contact, but eventually found my eyes interlocked into his. His eyes were troubled and soft all at once, and looked so deeply into mine. I felt my body squirm, yet I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. There was something about that gaze of his which I had never seen in another man.  

"I-It's fine, honestly." I added quickly, my eyes glued to his. He looked concerned, as though he cared. My heart raced in fear after realising what I was doing, especially in front of people who knew Jake. I quickly looked down, and felt thankful when Oliver slowly turned away himself.   

"I hope you're okay." 

I forced a smile.  "It's all good." I reassured him, knowing that my response was clearly a lie. I secretly wanted him to know that I was actually in danger. I wanted him to protect me. 

A heavy silence settled over us. Oliver's unsettled eyes glanced towards mine, quickly turning away to look elsewhere just as I moved my head to glance back. I fidgted with my fingers awkwardly, desperately wanting to start a conversation but feeling too shy to do so. Just looking at him made me feel insecure. He seemed so sure of himself, so confident and grown-up. 

"Tell me about this Jake." 

Oliver saw the shock register on my face before I could hide it. A small smile played on his lips, and before I could give him a response, he quickly reassured me that I didn't have to answer. "I was just teasing you." He told me, although I could sense that deep down he wanted a reply. Maybe he felt guilty over his question and quickly had a change of heart. 

"He's a good guy." I lied. Despite how badly I wanted to tell Oliver everything, I also didn't want to risk him getting concerned over me. Him interfering with Jake and I would cause more good than bad.

"Seems like it." Oliver laughed sarcastically. I couldn't help but feel hurt over his comment. I casted my gaze onto the ground, but tried my best to hide such emotions through a weak smile. He glanced back up at me, clearly realising what he had done, and rubbed my back. "I'm sorry."

My body tensed. There was something so pure about Oliver, his gestures were gentle and he seemed to genuinely care for me. Yet I still felt scared. He watched me as I stared at the floor in panic and abruptly removed his hand. 

"O-oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." He seemed startled, his expression full of both concern and worry. It was clear that he could tell I was broken. After walking inside our school building, Oliver already began to signal that he had to go a different direction. "I guess I'll see you later?"

I nodded, humiliated by my pathetic behaviour, and forced a smile after listening to him say goodbye. We then went our separate ways, both wandering slowly down the school whilst lost in our own thoughts. Although I needed to go the same way as him, I felt too embarrassed to tell him and so decided to take the long way. 

I couldn't believe I messed up my first interaction with someone who actually wanted to get to know me. How could I feel sorry for myself for being so lonely when this is how I treat people who try to get to know me?