Abusive relationship

Chapter 14

After ten or so minutes Jake had finished, and I found myself lying down on my own as he stood up to sort his belt. 

"I need to explain last night." He admitted as I heaved my body upwards and began to dress.

I tried my best to not burst out into anger, and thankfully I succeeded. Jake explaining never helps. He usually tells me that he was going through a lot and needed to express his anger, but shouldn't have expressed it on me. But that would never explain why he'd hit me or come close to even murdering me. I found it difficult to believe that those were ways of simply "letting out his anger". It seemed like something he needed to get help with. 

"Fuck... don't look at me with those eyes." He had a slight smile but I could sense the pain in his voice. "You're too precious." He moved closer towards me and cupped my two cheeks into his hands. Then, he pressed his forehead against mine so that our noses were touching. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, but I found my eyes fixed to his. I wanted to continue staring at him in this way. I wanted to make him feel guilty and to make him understand my concerns.

"So...you saw me sleeping with Hazel yesterday."

I nodded.

Jake opened his mouth but then let out a chuckle whilst shaking his head. It was clear that he was ashamed of his actions, and I respected that. 

"What a slut." He whispered to himself. 

My body burned with anger after hearing him use that word. I knew the disrespect my boyfriend had for women, he's shown it to me many times. And although Hazel hooked up with my boyfriend in front of me in my own room, knowing exactly what she was doing to me and not showing any remorse, I felt forgiveness towards her. My boyfriend is very charming, and his handsome face and polite manners made it hard to not sleep with him. I've been there. I knew I was breaking many of the girls' hearts on the farm, and I felt awful about it, but he was too much of a dream to say no. He's like a hypnotist, he lures you in with the false actions he acts out, just to push you away when he's done. 

"I had only just met her yesterday and I really liked her." He rolled his eyes when my face lit up in panic. "As a friend of course."

I frowned at Jake and felt my heart drop. Why should I care if he liked her? Yet I cared so deeply...the thought of my boyfriend looking at girls the way he looked at me made me tearful. 

"I felt irritated and needed a distraction. During that lesson, I asked to go to the toilet, and I guess Hazel did the same." He was right. I remember her also asking to leave just as he did.  "She came up to me, telling me that she also needed a break, so we talked for a while. She asked me if I could give her a lift home after school so I thought why not. Then, at the end of the day I saw you with Oliver. It pissed me off, not gonna lie. I was already angry enough so I told her to stay the night." He paused for a while, looking annoyed now, and I couldn't help but feel my heart pounding with fright. "Of course the slag said yes." 

Jake clenched his fists and stared at the wall before glaring into my frightened eyes. "Why were you with Oliver?" He hissed, "and why did you come home so late?"

"I-I wasn't with-"

"I fucking saw you, Maia!" To my surprise, tears were rushing down Jake's cheeks and he looked genuinely hurt. "I wasn't even having sex with Hazel until I checked the time and noticed you were two hours late. I was certain you were hooking up with Oliver so I decided to hook up with Hazel. I was so pissed!" Jake banged his fist on the table, causing me to jump after hearing a loud thud. "Fuck, I still am!" 

"Jake. I was not with Oliver." Of course, I was lying, but I had no choice. I was desperate at this point. 

"I hurt you enough last night so you're lucky." A shiver ran through my spine as I stared at Jake, his eyes full of hatred. "But I'm talking with Oliver tomorrow."