Abusive relationship

Chapter 12

"Me?" Jake asked in surprise, clearly not expecting the sudden question. He hesitated for a while, possibly contemplating whether talking would be a good idea. 

"It was always just me and my mum."

Instantly, I remembered him telling me about his mother's death and felt a lump form in my throat. I placed my hand over Olivers, trying my best to be of comfort. I knew that this would barely help his pain, but I couldn't bear to watch the grief which burned in his eyes. 

"I never got told about my dad, or if I have any siblings. My mum never talked about that stuff, and if I asked she'd get mad and cry. I've always wanted to know where my dad is right now, or if he is even alive." His eyes stared at the sky, as though he was looking at his mum, wishing that she could somehow answer his questions. "My childhood was tough."

Oliver stopped for a while, his darkened eyes now focused on the floor. I squeezed his hand whilst feeling hopeless, my eyes simply staring into his, waiting for him to talk yet at the same time wishing he wouldn't. I couldn't bear to listen to his grief. 

"School when I was 11, was... ok." A smile had now appeared onto his face, but it wasn't a happy smile, it was a smile with a slight sneer, as though he was amused yet disgusted. "I mean... as you can probably tell...I'm not the best at making friends. And that was ok for me until I was 11. I realised something wasn't right. Everyone was happy with their friends, yet for some reason, I couldn't get myself any."

Little does Oliver know that everyone right now would love to be his friend and get to know him. But he's so intimidating and mysterious and quiet... it makes him so attractive yet at the same time scares people. 

"This was when my gymnastics years peaked. I always loved gymnastics, but I never focused on it as much as I should have. When I was 11 I devoted my life to it as an escape from the loneliness I would experience daily. Every single day I was spending at least three hours in my local sports centre, and when I was at home I was watching youtube videos of gymnastics, observing their every move and taking notes or comparing myself to them. My grades went downhill. My mum was incredibly worried and defiantly did not think that I could ever become famous. She dismissed every one of my thoughts that I expressed to her. "It's a competitive field" she'd always tell me, "you're wasting your life away". I'd never believe her. I was so determined. To the point where I even stopped talking to my mum because I was so busy trying to pursue my dream. And slowly but surely... our relationship faded. We weren't as close as we once were. I had no idea how lonely and sad my mum was. All I focused on was gymnastics. I was barely home to observe my mums behaviour or to listen to her thoughts." 

His mouth began wobbling and tears streamed down his eyes. I didn't want to listen to what he had to say next. I could sense what it was going to be. I knew how much this had and will forever haunt him. 

Without any warning I jumped out of my seat to hug Oliver. He burst into tears as I strongly embraced him, expressing the horrific despair and emotional suffering that lingered with him. 

"One day I came home late at night to see no one home. My mum was gone, which wasn't like her. She was always in bed by eight."

My hand ran through his hair as he continued to wail. I kissed his cheek and caught a glimpse of his face, which was flushed and covered in tears. His eyes were closed, as though he was imagining the night he came home to no one, oblivious to what was to come. 

"I didn't know what to do. I knew something wasn't right. So I went to bed, in hope that in the morning I'd see her making breakfast, and would actually talk to her for once." A sigh escaped from his mouth. "Maia... you don't understand how badly I wanted to talk to my mum that night. I realised how distant we were being and missed her. I realised how much I was ignoring her and begged to God that I would be able to talk to her soon." Silence. A long silence which stayed with Oliver and I for a while. "But that wish never came true."

He let out a long sigh before continuing. 

"Woke up the next morning and went to school as usual. I knew something was up the second I walked into my school grounds. Everyone was staring at me, looking confused, probably as to why I was in school the next day." Silence again. "I remember... I remember going up to one of the kids staring at me. I asked him why everyone was staring at me. The look on his face confirmed to me that he didn't want to tell me. "You don't know?" I was so angry by his response that I was close to beating him up, and forced him to tell me immediately. So he did."

"What did he say...?"

""Your mom died yesterday. Apparently it was to suicide." He said a load of other shit afterwards which I just couldn't listen to. Everything was a blur after those two sentences. The first one was hard enough to listen to... but the second sentence. That hit me. It was the biggest slap in the face I had ever received. Everything was a blur again until I remember lying in my bed crying."

"Your mother would be so proud of you Oliver. She'll be looking down at you right now smiling. You've come so far, you've-"

"I couldn't allow myself to not become famous after her death. The distress I knew I gave her when she worried about my future kills me to think about. She really thought I was going to become a failure. About a year after her death I had finally received the motivation to do what I had always loved. I realised that spending the rest of my life in bed crying and eating would only make her ashamed. I knew that if there is a place up there where your loved ones stare down at you, I needed to stop making her feel the pain she felt when she was still alive with me. I needed to make her feel proud and happy. I was so passionate about gymnastics that it was taking over my life. But hey, look at me now. I'm worldwide famous for what I do." He let out a smile, which seemed genuine, and I couldn't help but let one out myself. "Maia... I feel so much better now. I can't thank you enough. I've always needed to tell somebody about this."

"If you ever need someone to talk to come to me straight away."

"Are you sure? I don't want to bother you, especially with-"

"Who cares about Jake? I'm being serious Oliver."

"You have such a warm soul" Oliver's voice was low and raspy, as though he had just woken up from a long sleep. Suddenly, I felt his strong grasp gently lift me up onto his lap as his warm hand swept aside my hair covering my face. I dreamily gazed into his eyes as he stared into mine, before burying his face into my shoulder and kissing my collarbone. I hung my arms around his neck, pulling him closer and feeling his kisses get higher and higher until they reached my lips. In a moment I pressed my lips press against his, smiling over the expression of shock which shone in his eyes before closing mine shut. His body loosened and leant against the sofa as I felt my body collapse onto his, limp and melted.  

Our lips parted and I instantly found myself grinning in a mixture of disbelief and joy. Before I could even think, his lips were already pressed against my own again. This kiss was blissful and sweet, like the first kiss someone shares with a boy they've loved for years. I gripped his shirt when I felt his hand lower down my body and squealed in shock when Oliver stood up, picking me with him. He walked me upstairs, still sharing that pure and intense kiss, and eventually reached his room where he laid me down. I found myself lying on top of him, my body simultaneously moving as he heavily breathed. He let out a sharp breath when his lips left mine, as though he needed air, but instantly went back in to kiss me harder, more intensely, with an urge that made me tremble. My hands pulled his hair as his kiss lowered down to my neck and then my chest. I unbuttoned my shirt as he took off his. My breathing quickened as a demand for him to be closer overwhelmed my senses. I had never felt so passionate, so intense and so in love. 

After minutes that seemed like seconds, we were both lying down side by side, slowly kissing each other whilst drowned in our adoration. And at that very moment, when I stared into his eyes which stared affectionately into mine, I knew that this boy was the one.