Abusive relationship

Chapter 15

Oliver's POV

I couldn't help but feel my heart thud rapidly in a mixture of fear and excitement as I stepped out of the aeroplane, breathing in the fresh new smell of another country. It felt unreal that in a matter of minutes I would see the women I spent the majority of my teenage years with. 

I had missed Anita.

I missed our midnight walks along deserted streets, exchanging warm smiles whilst telling each other every little detail about our lives, whether it be childhood traumas or weird obsessions. I missed waking up to her smile every morning, kissing her forehead and trailing my hand along her smooth, golden skin. No one has ever known me or will ever know me the way Anita did. She knew all my secrets, yet still accepted me for who I was and loved me all the same.

But things could never go back to how they used to be.  Us being together was wrong.

And anyway, I'm in love with someone else now. Someone who needs me. 

~

 "So... how have things been?" Anita asked me as her bright eyes stared intently into mine, reading my every emotion with a gaze full of curiosity. "I couldn't believe it when you left."

I let out a sigh whilst my hand ran through my greasy hair. Guilt had still lingered with me ever since I left Anita to go to England. I knew how much it would affect her, especially after that night on the terrace. But things weren't the same anymore. I knew I moved on, but it upset me to know that Anita's feelings were still strong.

"It's... it's been good." I was conflicted on whether to tell her about Maia or not - I didn't want her to know how quickly I replaced her. 

"Why have you been ignoring my texts?

Anita and I hadn't talked since our breakup. I remember it so vividly. The hurt which burned in her eyes after I told her I was leaving to start a new life. I left her upset and confused, without a full explanation as to why I had to start afresh. But she could never find out... and if only she knew why. 

"I-I..." my mind went blank, I was still dazed from seeing her. She looked exactly like the girl I fell in love with a few years ago... nothing about her had changed. Just staring into her eyes was enough to make me fall into a pit of admiration and wonder. But I had to leave her... it was my only option. 

"It's all good" She chuckled, although I could tell that she was still upset and hadn't gotten over what I did to her. Suddenly, her hand grasped my arm, and she gently pulled me closer towards her so that she could rest her head against my shoulders. "I missed you." 

I bit my lip whilst staring at the floor, forcing myself to not respond. She needs to know about Maia.

I gently shuffled sideways, trying my best to ignore the guilt which ran through me. Anita took the hint and let go, afterwards clearing her throat and pushing her hair behind her ears, visibly feeling awkward.  "How's England?"

"It's good..." Maia. Maia. Maia. Just tell her about Maia! "H-how's...?"

"Dubai?" She paused. "It's good."

Her smile had soon faded, and I could tell that the new life she was forced to fall into was not one she enjoyed. I ached to see her upset. She showed me how to find beauty in such a cruel world. And I wish I could have done the same to her. 

I wanted to be there for her. To remind her of how strong she is, and how much I love and respect her. But that would put our lives in danger, and if only she knew.

"Why are you so quiet?" My brain stuttered for a moment whilst my eyes widened in shock to the sound of her harsh voice. "You used to be so full of energy."

"Look, Anita..." Every part of me ached to not tell her....but I couldn't do that to Maia. "I have a girlfriend."

"Oh."

I regretted what I had done the second the words left my mouth. Hundreds of excuses rushed through my mind, begging me to tell her that I could never replace her. She was my first love and came into my life during my darkest period. 

But I felt a duty to protect Maia. She needs me... and I need her. 

"Oliver... I'm happy for you and all but..." I feared what she had to say next. "Are you really that into her? Or did you just get over me that quickly?" 

Her head turned towards me after my silence, and I automatically did the same. Our eyes locked, but instead of that warm, comforting gaze I was used to seeing, I was staring into eyes burning with hostility. We stared at each other for seconds that felt like minutes, not blinking once.

After a while Anita turned her head to stare to the side, the harsh hostility soon replaced with sad eyes brimming with tears.

"Please don't-"

"Did I ever mean anything to you?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then how could you replace me so quickly?" Her voice broke mid-sentence, displaying a cruel sense of vulnerability which made my heart sink. She took a deep breath, clearly trying to hold in the tears which were forcing their way out. "You knew what I was going through."

That's why I had to leave. 

If only I could tell her the truth. 

Suddenly, the sound of cameras broke my depressed gaze which had remained fixed on Anita, and instantly I felt my surroundings spin. 

Paparazzi. 

Had all of that been recorded? Pictured? For the world to see?

Maia.