Behind The Mask

Chapter 60

Anouk's POV

"No, not like this, Jake! More like do-do-dam-dum-dam and with a bam in the end....I can't feel the power. It's just...it's not there....If I can't hear it here on stage, people won't feel it out there in the audience. Alright...let's start again from the second verse..."

I made myself more comfortable in the swivel chair and slurp on my super protein packed 0 sugar smoothie. I cannot really identify what it's made of, but Michael swears it's the best replacement for a snack between meals. Since I said that I am not interesting in shopping and museum visits without him, and expressed my wish to see my man at work doing his thing, a few things have mysteriously appeared in the concert hall, apart from loads of high tech musical equipment and hundreds of miles of cables. First, this comfortable swivel chair, with ideal neck and lower back support; next a mini fridge with tons of diet and no sugar treats; and lastly, a footrest which can be turned on with a pushbutton to give my feet a massage and keep them warm.

Right now, I am too fascinated by what's happening on the stage to care about the little gimmick (which Michael promised we'll take back home with us, it was a gift from the concert organizer). The soft spoken and polite man I know is now in full control. Not bossy, not shouting and cussing like you'd expect spoiled pop stars to do. No, there is a very definite vibe here. Michael is not bossy, he is The Boss. He knows how each light should shine, how each instrument sounds, how he wants the bass to go, how he wants his dancers to slide their hip to the right and freeze in position.

It is a life experience watching him prepare the show. It is fascination, as powerful as the actual live performance. I have forgotten to put my smoothie down and watch with all my eyes, ears and pores wide open, trying to absorb everything going on, trying to understand this complex conundrum that is my husband. I still know only bits and pieces of his personality. Some are sweet, some are childish, some are sad and hurt, but every one of them is dear to me. I have learned to love Michael not ignoring his flaws, but embracing them, and understanding that they make him who he is. And everyone else who pretends to love him conveniently discards whatever they don't like about him. But that is not true love – that is caprice and infatuation.

I smirk as Michael demonstrates a few beats to the drummer. Boy, his beat boxing skills are something else! He could record a whole beat boxing album and it would be a major hit. After fixing the instruments to his liking (it took about 20-30 minutes) he started the actual singing and dancing. And he is phenomenal! It's just rehearsals, but I can understand why everybody's losing their head during his shows. There is something absolutely unique about Michael on stage: he's powerful, he's in control, he makes magic happen, he seduces the audience and he comes up with the most amazing dance steps I've ever seen. I remember that I used to think he is a bit overrated, and I want to bite back my thoughts and words, because I was so wrong. I think I fell victim to the media hype about his personality, and I forgot that deep inside he is an artist and an innovator.

And then he became someone so important to me, that I forgot everything else except that he is my best friend and my lover and my soul mate. I got immersed in our personal relationship and I left out everything else, because Michael is so much to me on a personal level. And I think he likes that, I think this is what he has been seeking all the time, this type of relationship. But every once in a while, I should remember that being a performer is not a job, but a part of Michael's personality.

And now I get to experience it for the first time and it is amazing! I finished my smoothie and then relaxed in the comfortable chair enjoying what I could see on stage. Michael ruled the show, mentored the other artists, showed how he wanted things to be done and did not stop until he got them right.