One More Try

Chapter One ~ Faith

As I walk down the path of darkness I see your image. I keep wandering around looking closer and closer for you. I panic, I can't find you. Where did you go? Why can't I find you? Come back here. I feel all alone. I fall to the ground screaming and shaking violently as I call out your name. Come back please. I need you. I close my eyes and see you again. Laughing, smiling, and playing with my hair. I awaken to them carrying me across the field. Dad was them, and he was quite worried.

This wasn't the first time I have done this and this wasn't going to be the last time either. Day after day they found me lying out in the field. He would always come and get me. I was his little girl. I was all he had left of my mother. So he didn't dare leave me in the field full of snow. I wasn't about to be a frozen Jane Doe. This wasn't going to be fun once I woke up fully in the back of the Impala.

"Samantha wake up!" I was startled by the sound of his voice. "Uh, what? Where am I?" "In the back of our car. Quit playing stupid. Why were you in the field again? I told you about two days ago to stop coming here. It's not safe Sam." I sighed and then noticed we weren't alone. I saw Cas sitting in the front seat with Dad. "Samantha I asked you a question and you better think of a god damn good response." "Okay Jesus. Sorry I'm not quick enough. Someone was calling out my name. I swear to you this time they were." He slammed his fist onto the dash board. "God damn it Samantha! It's always the same. You are old enough to understand that this is not real. Quit playing games and tell me the truth." I was getting very frustrated as well. Why didn't he understand me? I was telling him the truth. Whether he chose to believe me or not was a different story. "Dad I was telling you the truth. Someone was calling my name and I decided to follow the voice. Why don't you believe me?" He then pulled the car over and sat his head on the steering wheel. He sighed before saying something this time. "Samantha who's voice are you hearing?" I could see that he had given up at this point. "I heard her voice. That's who dad. I'm sorry I left again. I just wanted to see her." I could hear him sniffling. I knew he was crying because Cas was rubbing his back. He then snapped back and looked directly at me. "Samantha let me tell you this and I'm only gonna say this once so you better be listening. Your mother is dead. Do you know what that means? She's not coming back. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. She's never going to come back and you're not hearing her voice. It's just your god damn imagination! Do you understand me?" I shuddered in fear. I hesitated to answer him. "I said do you fucking understand me?" I felt the hot tears pour off my cheek. "Yes I do. I understand Sir." I was so scared. He didn't hesitate to respond to me though. "You better fucking understand me. You can't keep doing this to me Samantha. You know every time you fucking pull these shenanigans the neighbours get nosy and fucking call the fucking child services. I've told them you're sleep walking. I've been worried about you. I'm only doing this because I care." He was right. He was only doing this because he cared. He loved me like there was no one left to love. In the end I understood I couldn't keep doing this, but some part of me made me want to go back and find her. The car ride home was silent except for the music playing in the background.

We got home shortly after four. Dad came around opened the door for me. He had the car on child lock so I didn't get the "urge" to jump out. I wasn't that dumb enough to jump out. Dad would then kill me. I got out of the car still fear ridden. It was pretty chilly outside as well so I made the excuse it was too cold so that's why I was shaking. Dad unlocked the front door quickly and let me go in first. I couldn't stop thinking about the comment he said about mama. I knew she wasn't going to be coming back, but he didn't have to react that way. "Sam I want you to go see your uncle. He's upstairs waiting in his room for you. Then you can go to your room for a while. I don't want to see you right now." I looked directly at him before I took my shoes off. "Yes Sir." I went upstairs like he said to. I went to Sam's room and knocked on his door. I heard a soft "come in" before I entered.