One More Try

Chapter Nine ~Everything She Wants

I never thought dad would start drinking like he had before. It all began a few days after the incident. He felt so guilty after what he did. Sam told me that. That was how I found out. So now he's gone into another depressive episode. I mean he's been in one for days. I wouldn't blame him though. I've been in one too. I guess it was just going to be one of those weeks. 

This week started off not so bad. Sam was in a good mood so far, and Cas was too. Dad was just barely getting by. He finally took his gauze off. His arms looked so weird and cool at the same time. His cuts were finally healing. Well they were kind of healing. He didn't have any shame in hiding them either. He just let them be free. 

I was in the living room when dad and Sam came in. They had gone grocery shopping. I refused to leave the house so they just left me home. No one was home. My aunt and cousin finally left. They moved into their new home two days ago. For Cas he was with dad and Sam I just didn't know that until they all came through the door. I haven't been outside in about a week. I have no reason to be out there. They've tried to force me outside but I just scream and they give up to not have all the attention on our house. Once they finished putting the stuff away they came over to me. "So have you been watching the t.v. this whole entire time? Why wouldn't you come out?" Sam then grabbed the converter. "No! I don't like outside. It has terrible things out there. If I ever have to go outside again I'll have a heart attack and hopefully die." He just laughed at me. "Sweetie it's fine out there. No one's going to hurt you. I promise. Why don't we step out in the back where no one can see us?" I screamed. "Jesus Sam, don't get her going. If she doesn't want to go outside then leave her alone." I was glad dad had my back. "Oh Dean it wasn't like I was going to force her outside. I was kidding jeez take a joke." Everything went silent. Until dad's phone rang.

"Hello? Who is this?" He looked at me and rolled his eyes. "Yes she's here. What would you like?" He continuously rolled his eyes. "Most likely she won't talk on the phone with you so you might as well ask me. She hasn't come out of the house because of anxiety so what makes you think she's going to speak on the god damn phone?" He scoffed a few more times and then looked over to me. "Sammy your aunt wants to know if you want to go over to her house for a girls night dinner?" I hesitated to answer because I wasn't about to go alone. "Do I have to go alone?" He nodded. "Ugh I can't go outside." He smiled. "She's going to go. So when is it going to be held?" There was a long pause again. Which didn't seem too good. He looked at me again. "Sammy it's at three til six. Is that fine? I can drop and pick you up." I crossed my arms. "Fine, I guess I'll go. Well maybe. I don't want to go outside." As he was laughing to himself he told her I would be hopefully there before three thirty. Then he hung up the phone. "Well since you know it's almost eleven you should go get dressed at least. Oh and maybe you can eat something. Since you haven't ate since maybe yesterday afternoon." "I can go get dressed later and I'm not hungry." "We're not arguing about this Samantha. You're doing one or the other." "Fine I'll get dressed." He sighed. "I'd rather you get dressed later. Please why don't you eat something." "Why don't you?" "I already had something to eat before you got up. Now go eat some food. Please Sam." "Fine I will. If it'll make you happy." 

As I made my way into the kitchen I noticed that there was blood on the wall. I didn't care enough to ask. I figured it was there from last week or so. No one bothered to cover the hole back up either. I opened the fridge and pulled out one of the sandwiches that was left over from Sam's binge sandwich making night when he was drunk. He was drunk I think Sunday night and decided to make more sandwiches. We just finished the last batch he made the night before so he decided more was needed. As I was eating my sandwich that sick feeling came back in my stomach like an old friend. I just kept eating more and more after I finished my first sandwich. It didn't matter what I ate. I just downed a lot of food. Just like the good ol' days. "Sam are you gong to go get dressed yet?" "Yeah in a few minutes. Give me some time to finish." "Alright will do." Once I drank some milk I felt that urge to vomit again. I knew I wasn't going to make it to the bathroom so I opened the garbage and just began throwing up. I heard footsteps. I just didn't know whose they were. "Sammy no this isn't what we're going to do. Look at all of this food garbage. Sweetie get up and look at me." I wasn't done vomiting, but I looked over to him. "What?" "What are you doing?" "Isn't it obvious I was putting my stuff in the garbage?" I then turned back to vomit more. "Stop it! You're not going to do this at your aunt's house I hope. You know they're not going to let you." I released his grip on me. "Leave me alone. I'll be fine. I'm not eating there. I'm not going out." He then pulled me up from the garbage and spun me around so now I was looking at him. "You're going whether you like it or not. As well as you're going to eat, and you're going to socialise. You're not going to be a dick wad. They were nice enough to call and ask if you wanted to go. So you're going. Go get dressed and stop vomiting." "Fine. But I'm not staying the whole time. I'll run away." He pushed me away. "Go get your fucking clothes on Samantha. I'm not going to argue with you again." I then noticed Sam walking by the kitchen. He was keeping his eye on us I bet. So you know there wasn't another hole in the wall.