Poems and thoughts (completed)

cutting

As you can see I have been doing a few long things! Just cuz I felt like it :3 Okay so im gonna talk about cutting. It is not nor will it EVER be for attention! If somebody cuts it isn't because they want people to notice them its a way to hide their pain. You know why people cut? Because its a distraction. For one moment you don't feel all the pain, the loss, the hurt. All you feel is the razor going into your skin. The blood dripping down your arm, leg, stomach or wherever. You don't think about how alone you are or how ugly and fat you are. You don't think about the way people talk about you behind your back. You don't think about how your family us fighting or your friends hate you. All you think about is the blood. And the addicting part? Well that's when all the hurt and pain comes back. When the cut isn't fresh and you can feel all the build up of sadness and loneliness inside you. So you have to do it again, but a little deeper so the numbness will last longer. The pain inside will be delayed longer. And the pain inside gets worse and worse so you have to make the pain on the outside worse and worse. Its all about control. You have it. You cant control the pain on the inside but you can control the pain on the outside. People will call you 'emo' too. But not all emo's cut ya know? But I have figured out that cutting is NEVER the answer. Sure I may slip up sometimes but that doesn't mean that you do. And if you cut everyday like I used to just try ANYTHING to stop because one day you could accidently hit a vein. And then what would you do? You weren't meaning to and then just imagine the bleeding not stopping and then you realize you hit the vein and cut into it. Even slightly is deadly. Im gonna be honet, I have never hit a vein. But if I did I would be scared. I would have a note ready though because I have already written one over and over again. But not the point. I would be terrified! I would think of my friends and family. I would most likely scream. I would pray to god that I wont die. Because no matter how much you wanna die, when it all comes down to it, do you really want to? I mean sometimes I do! But look at the cuts on you if you do cut, and if you don't CONGRATS AND PLEASE DONT START! Those cuts are battles that you lost against yourself. I myself have lost A LOT of battles. I have scars on my legs and hips and stomach. But I cut pretty deep once in my stomach and it wouldn't stop bleeding! I was scared but it stopped eventually. I was going to spend the night at my friend's house that day and it was right before I left. So I put a bandage on it because it was still bleeding. So when I left I was thinking that everything was okay! It was accept the bleeding wouldn't stop. After a while when the cut wasn't hurting and I went to the restroom I took the bandage off. There was blood all over it and the cut was still bleeding slightly. I was scared. It was hours later when I checked. I couldn't have hit anything right? (I didn't) But I was still scared. To this day I don't know why it bled so much! But then I though, what if I was cutting my wrist. I would be dead. I would have lost so much blood before I even got to her house and passed out, by the time I would get there I would have been dead. So please, before you cut think! Because somebody cares for you okay? If you do cut and are trying to stop try squeezing ice cubes! It works a little! And if it doesn't, try going to sleep or laying down and listen to your favorite music! Mine is sad, loud, and scream! So stay strong my lovelies! Because I love you :)