Poems and thoughts (completed)

This is not living its just surviving

You say you're okay, but what's the truth? Your mouth may be smiling but your eyes look sad. You live your life as if you were already dead. Maybe nobody sees but I see you loud and clear. The girl that always makes everybody else feel better is falling apart so quickly it blurs her vision. She comes to school and paints the same stupid smile on her face and she will not let somebody see her brake. Her best friend's might know how sad she truly is but they don't help much. She is hurting so much and it takes all of her strength everyday not to pick that razor up because she is trying so hard to get better. She's even trying to bring a lunch now! But that girl laughs at everything and is always smiling. Its rare to ever see her not smile! She smiles at random people in case they are having a bad day because she doesn't want anybody else to feel so sad. Her motto is "A smile a day keeps the demons away" But in all truth it has to be a pure, genuine smile. Not those fake ones she paints. But they look real so who cares right? She could be crying and still smile and tell you she's alright. She doesn't want people to worry about her so she bottles it all up inside. She breaks sometimes and will go to school as if she were a zombie. Completely mopey and not in the mood for anything. She will stare randomly into space even if she was just talking to you and laughing. She has a few people who care for her so she wont take her own life. She goes on as if she is truly dying. This is not  living its just surviving. The guy in her class that she cares for so dearly looks like he is falling apart too. He just looks so sad sometimes and she feels so bad for him. She pushes away her feeling to smile and laugh with him trying her best to show him he is cared for. She hates when people are sad and her best friends' are all down. Sometimes she feels like all she does is lend a helping hand and receive nothing in return :(