A faint buzzing in the background tells Kyle he's not dreaming at all. Everything is dark but the buzzing sounds too realistic for it to be just a dream.
Everything feels weird. He feels weirdly numb as though somebody has pumped his body full of drugs to stop him from experiencing everything. It's a strange feeling and curiosity floods through him.
It confuses Kyle that he doesn't know where Dan is, and why he can't feel him next to him. His mind flickers to an image of himself and Dan, both six and five playing together in the sandbox. It then transforms slowly, the colours mixing and the scenes changing. Now it's them both in a tree, not too much older. Dan was too scared to go any higher, but Kyle didn't care and was already several branches higher. The third image is one that Kyle remembers clearly, both of them stood next to each other in their secondary school uniforms. Kyle thinks it's cringy, but seeing Dan there once more makes everything better. He brings a smile to his face.
But then that smile drops, and another image appears in Kyle's mind. There's blood everywhere, and Dan is slumped unconscious on the forest floor. For some reason, he can move now, so he crouches by Dan.
The sight is barbaric. There's a knife lodged in Dan's stomach, blood seeping out of the wound like water, and it makes Kyle feel sick.
He tries to wake Dan up and attempts to apply pressure around the wound like he'd been told to do so many times. Dan doesn't respond at all, lying in the dirt completely lifeless. His skin is ghostly pale, but Kyle still lives on the hope that he'll just wake up.
There's no pulse when Kyle presses his fingers to Dan's neck.
Once more, the colours of the world begin to fade, but this time into darkness, Dan slowly disappearing from his grip. He can hear more now, though. He can hear shuffling, but it sounds like it from a different room. There's a squeaking noise, and something that sounds suspiciously like snoring is right next to his ear. Kyle doesn't like that.
But he thinks of Dan. He thinks of the poor boy, lying on his back with lifeless eyes and greying skin. He thinks of all the memories he has with Dan, all the times the pair have been around each other, all the times Kyle has fallen asleep with Dan right next to him, and it fills him with determination to start trying. Exactly what he's trying to do, Kyle is unsure of, but he's trying nonetheless.
The teenager lifts his head which feels like it contains nothing but bricks. Dan is lying on his arms, folded beneath his head which rests on the arm rail of Kyle's bed. He's in a deep sleep, and Kyle is relieved that the snores are his, that his skin isn't grey, and that he's not covered in mud, blood, or looking up to Heaven.
Kyle looks, noting the dull green cast that is wrapped around it. His fingers are poking out from the end, which he uses to run them through Dan's hair, just relieved that he's still breathing.
The antiseptic is so strong that Kyle can't decide whether it's that or something else that is making his nose and throat burn.
Dan's eyes gently flutter open. They're red and puffy, and it's clear he's been crying, but they're full of life and love. As soon as he sees Kyle's open eyes looking back at him, he grabs his hand out of his hair and tries to stand. Kyle just shakes his head, telling him to sit down.
"Why am I in here, Dan?" Kyle asks quietly, his voice so hoarse it comes out almost as a whisper. There feels like there's a heavy weight sat on his chest, and he doesn't like it.
Dan's silence doesn't provide him with much of an answer, though along with his facial expression, it gives him a hint. And it's not good.
"Dan, please, tell me..." Kyle tries his best to squeeze Dan's hand but it proves unsuccessful. His boyfriend wears an uneasy look on his face as he tells him to shuffle up the bed so he can lie with him.
When Dan rises from a wheelchair that Kyle hadn't noticed, he puts his hand over his stomach and groans, the pain still stinging his body. Kyle looks confused.
Carefully, the shorter boy lies on the bed next to Kyle and wraps him up in his arms before he so much as opens his mouth. He really doesn't want to tell him, no, not at all. He's scared of how Kyle will react- he's far, far too innocent for something like this to happen to him.
"We were in the forest," Dan begins, feeling the tears already welling in his eyes. "By our tree, like usual." Part of him wishes he didn't have to do this. Part of him knows it should be him.
"Catlin was there, I know that," Kyle interrupts, suddenly noticing the array of bruises that cover not just his arms but his entire body.
"He... Well, I guess he did what he said he was going to do, Ky. He got me out of the way first, then-" Dan's voice catches in his throat and he doesn't have the guts to carry on anymore.
"I know what he did to you. I remember." Kyle's voice is that of a whisper. He gently places his hand over the spot where Catlin stabbed Dan, feeling the masses of bandages beneath the hospital gown.
"But then he... I tried to stop him, Kyle. I promise- I swear on my life I tried to stop him." Dan doesn't care about himself because he knows his scar will heal, but he's concerned about what the lasting scars on Kyle may be.
"What did he do?" He asks curiously, still cuddled into Dan's chest.
Dan is really, really angry at Kyle's family. The hospital rang the Smith's first, but when they tried to contact the Simmons', nobody answered the phone. They're not even aware that their son is in the local hospital.
"Do you not remember? Nothing at all?" Dan steps carefully, already despising the words that will soon come out of his mouth. Kyle shakes his head no, wondering why, all of a sudden, Dan has started to gently rub his knuckles. He feels so small, so much like a child sat like this, protected by the arms of his lover.
Dan takes a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to spill from his eyes at any moment.
"Kyle, h-he r-r-raped you..." The words come out slow but Dan didn't intend for that to happen.
A stuffy silence takes over the room as the words filter through Kyle's mind. They process slowly, their full power not taking effect until...
The boy burst into tears, his skin suddenly feeling filthy and unlike his own. It feels like he's been sucked into a pit of self-hatred and self-destruction, and he tries to pull away from Dan, forcing himself up. Dan maintains a tight grip and keeps him in place.
"Kyle, you've got to stay here. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I'm your boyfriend and I'm supposed to protect you-"
But Kyle just wails, and wails, and wails. He cries until his sobs are nothing more than broken, uneasy breaths cutting through the cold air, and he's thrown up everything in his stomach. His eyes and lungs are burning and his entire frame is shaking.
Dan is crying, too. He holds Kyle closer than he ever has done before as they lie together, Dan suddenly forgetting about all the pain and all the hurt he has experienced himself and focusing on the semi-broken boy. He hates himself. He despises the fact he let this happen to Kyle, and he hates it even more that he swore to protect him against Catlin.
They don't say anything.
There is nothing to say.
