"Daddy! Come and look at this tree I found! It's amazing!"
Dan and Kyle follow their child through all of the trees and the thick, overgrown shrubbery of the forest where they have come for the day. Kyle had gone to see his dad and Dan had his entire family.
Everything has changed in the last ten years for the pair. At the age of 23, they both got married. It was a beautiful service and everyone was just happy that, after all this time, the pair were finally married. And then, two years ago at the age of 25, they adopted two children. They were siblings who couldn't be looked after by their mum, and Dan and Kyle were beyond excited to welcome the pair into their lives.
The two kids- four-year-old Charlie and five-year-old Laura (Dan was very amused when he found out her name was Laura)- are the pride and joy of the Smith-Simmons household. They loved them beyond what words can describe and when they were finally able to hold them in their arms, everything was real, and everything was perfect.
Charlie clings onto Kyle's arms. He's too clingy to let him out of his sight- and the story is the same around Dan. If his parents aren't there, he isn't comfortable. That's just the way he is.
Laura, however, runs along in amusement with her fathers in tow shortly behind her and disappears into the buses. Dan shakes his head with a bemused smile and follows her. His hand is tightly holding Kyle's.
Everything about the forest around the men screams nostalgia, and they don't like it. For some reason, it brings more anxiety to Kyle than it does Dan, but he attempts to push it to the back of his mind. He puts it down to the fact that this is just his hometown, where he lived before he moved with Dan to a town in the Midlands.
"Look, just look at the tree! It's huge!" Laura grisn, poitning up at the large oak tree that towers above the family. "It's taller than you, Dad!" She turns to Kyle with a smile on her face, but he's not looking at her.
Dan gives a glance to Kyle as everything begins to piece together in his mind, and he realises where he is, and what tree they are stood in front of. He looks up and sees the roughly carved heart with D S + K S written inside of it, his heart jumping into his throat. He can only imagine how Kyle must be taking all of this.
His gaze then goes down to the base of the tree, to the very spot where he had slumped all those years ago fighting to keep himself awake- guilt overwhelms him at how he sat and pleaded Catlin to leave Kyle alone but then lost consciousness. If he had stayed awake, maybe he could have stopped him. He could have helped in some way.
Kyle gently places Charlie on the floor, and the boy gives a cry of refusal until Dan bends down to his height.
"Charlie, will you go with Laura and leave us two alone for ten minutes, please?" Dan asks the boy quietly, running his hand through the child's hair. Charlie is hesitant. "Please, Charles? For Popa?"
The boy doesn't look happy, but Laura takes his hand and gently leads him away, telling him about another tree not far away.
Of all the places, why here? Kyle thinks to himself, his breathing ceasing. He can't keep his eyes off of the spot where his body had been all those years ago, which had caused him to become so dysfunctional. He still has panic attacks frequently, and he can't get any more intimate with Dan than making out with him. He figured out very early on that he would never be the same again.
"Kyle, Love," Dan says with a soft voice as his husband slowly sits down, taking deep breaths and closing his eyes. He sits down next to him, gently wrapping his arms around him. "Hey, you're okay. We're okay."
Kyle's eyes are watery with tears, and his breath is catching in his throat. "I hate him, Dan," he whispers, covering his face with his hands. "I hate him so much."
"We have kids now, Kyle, we're married. We are a happy, loving family, and we are living a happy life. Catlin is in prison, Catlin is unhappy, okay? God knows what he's doing in there, but he can never, never be happier than us now." Dan rubs Kyle's back for support, gently talking to him. He hates the idea of Kyle falling back into his depression again- he can't ever imagine Kyle locking him away from that.
"But he still scarred me, Dan. He's stopped us from doing so much stuff together. He put me in a hole that I couldn't get out of for years." Kyle sounds disheartened again. Dan doesn't like it.
"But we got you out of that hole eventualy. We, together, helped you get better. And whenever you need me, I will be there to help you again."
Kyle nods but doesn't look fully convinced that everything is okay. He feels the sickening weight of living as it weighs down on his chest, and it feels like it's never going to get off.
And when he feels like, once more, he has hit his low, he hears them. He hears the laughing of his children just metres away, and he hears Dan besides him, whispering words of comfort, and telling him just how much he loves him. He realises just how important everything is right now, and, being a father, he doesn't have time to lock himself away in the past again. That's a door he needs to shut.
Noticing the vacant look in his eyes, Dan frowns in worry. "Kyle?" He whispers, gently moving to hold Kyle tighter.
Everything in the moment feels so real for Kyle. He is aware of everything- yes, he's aware of the fear, anxiety, and depression that runs through him, but he's aware of how loved he is, and he's aware of how he loves his family, and he is aware of how happy he is.
"I love you, Dan," Kyle whispers, bringing the man's face to his own to connect their lips. "I love you more than I can ever describe."
A/N well this was the last chapter. I honestly had no idea how to do this, and I'm still not sure if I'm happy how it turned out.
And sorry but Charlie
