Skin & bones || Otto Wood

Chapter 1

This is how it all started. This is where my life went down hill. It all started with me falling in love with the wrong guy. His name was Justin Nicholas McGregger. He had jet black hair and ocean blue eyes. He was what everyone considered the "bad boy", and everyone wanted him. He was my everything and I was his, well, I thought I was. I caught him checking out girls all the time. He would also have girls blowing up his phone 24/7 asking him to come over. A normal girl would've left him for someone better, but I didn't.I decided that changing my appearance would make him stop staring at other girls. I always considered myself fat. I'm 5'5 and I weigh 137. Everyone says that this is a great weight for me, but I never thought it was. I always went to the gym about three times a week, but I would only see a little change. I wanted a really big dramatic change. I wanted to lose the weight all at once. I decided that going two days without eating would at least help me lose pounds quicker, and it did. I was 127 pounds in two weeks. I would try to go more days without eating, but fail. I would break and eat everything in my sight. Doing this would make me feel awful. I would usually cry, or just work out for about two hours to burn off the calories. This went on for a month, and Justin was still over all these other girls. This wasn't enough. I need to lose more, I need to be more skinny. I started cutting back even more and going on pro Ana websites. These websites gave me inspiration to lose all the weight. When I would get cravings, I would take a rubber band and pop myself, but this wasn't effective enough. A lot of the people on the website said that they would cut themselves when they craved food. I didn't think that cutting would do anything, until I tried it. Cutting soon became a distractor and so did working out. My life was pretty much dedicated to working out, losing weight, binging, purging, and cutting. I would only eat about 500 calories a day and work out for about 1 1/2 hours. If I would binge, I would purge, work out more, or cut myself. I would mostly cut myself. Everything just got wore. Justin wouldn't want to be seen with me, so he broke up with me . He said that starving myself and cutting was disgusting and that I was sick for doing it. I wasn't sick, there is nothing wrong with me. He told me that I needed help, but I don't, I don't need help. That night was the worst. The next few weeks were complete hell. I would eat, and eat, and eat.I was becoming a fat, ugly monster. I forgot about the gym, I forgot about the restricting, I forgot about everything. It wasn't until I looked in the mirror and saw myself. I obviously gained a lot of weight. I rushed to the toilet and forced myself to throw up. This was my first time ever doing this. I felt so horrible doing it, but it got rid of all the bad things, it made me skinnier. This went on for a couple of months. I would check my weight every single day, I would only eat about 100 calories, I would even do water fasts to lose all of this unhealthy weight. I did whatever to lose it all.
140 pounds
136 pounds
120 pounds
123 pounds
115 pounds
110 pounds
97 pounds.
I looked beautiful. I was stunning. I was perfect. But did I stop here, no. I couldn't just stop or else I would gain all this weight back. It all became a lifestyle. Ana, be my lifestyle.