Skin & bones || Otto Wood

Chapter 16

"I'm not leaving you here alone Jessica, especially after all the things you've said." Otto yelled across the room.

"I'm okay I swear. Why don't you ever believe me. I said I was fine, so you should believe me." I yelled back.

Otto and I arrived at my house about 30 minutes ago from the flight.its currently 7:45 at night. We are currently arguing over Otto leaving me alone in my house. He's afraid that I might do something bad to myself, maybe even commit suicide.

"You're not okay jess and you know you aren't. Just think about it. You ended up in the hospital two times because you are starving yourself, you've been self harming for however long, you even talked about how death doesn't seem that bad. You are not okay." Tears started rolling down his face.

I feel really terrible seeing him cry. It hurts me knowing I'm causing him so much pain.

"Look at you!. You're crying all because of me. Ending it would just stop the pain."

"No it won't. It will just hurt me even more knowing that the love of my life just fucking killed themselves. Please Jessica, just stop this. You need me to stay here with you. You need this help."

The room is just filled with the sound of ottos cries. I just can't deal with it. I can't go through another day in my life. I don't want to be here anymore. The only thing that is keeping me from ending it right now is Otto. In fact, Otto is the main reason that I haven't ended it. Tears rolled down my cheek seeing him sitting on my couch crying.

We sit in each other's embrace for the next couple of minutes. Otto's cries soon become silent sobs. He soon looks up from his lap and at me. His eyes red and puffy. A small smile spreads across his face.

"How can someone as beautiful as you want to end their life? How did this all happen anyway?"

"When I was 18, I dated this guy. He never really loved me, but I for sure loved him. He started hitting on other girls, so I thought that losing weight would make home love me more. I didn't know how addicting losing weight could be, and now this is where I am."

"That person you dated was a total dick. If I ever see him, I'll make sure to beat him up."

"Please Otto, you couldn't even beat up the guy who was trying to get with me when we first met."

He did a light chuckle.

"The hospital said to check you in around 11:30 tomorrow morning. They don't know how long you're going to be in there; it just depends on how you cooperate."

"I don't want to go back there. I don't want to go through all of that again."

"I know you don't, but you have too. It's going to make you better."

I got up and went to go get some water. All of this crying and yelling has made me very thirsty. I fixed Otto some water too. We just sat in silence staring at my bare wall. Otto's phone went off and he checked to see who it was.

"Hello." He answered standing up and walking towards my window."umm, right now' a bad time. Maybe tomorrow? Or Wednesday? I just can't d-. Yes I know I know, but I'm really b-. Fine whatever, I'll see what I could do. " he hung up the phone and let out a huge sigh.

"Who was that ?" I asked.

"My manager. I have some very important things that I have to do and he wants them done right now. It's nothing too bad, but I just wanted to focus on you. I'll find time to do it."

"You can do it right now." I suggest.

"No I'll find time. What we can do now is watch a movie, or go out and eat."

"I'm not hungry and I'm not in the mood for a movie."

"We aren't starting this again Jessica."

"Fine, we can watch a movie. But don't expect me to stay up through it."

Otto found some random movie on Netflix and he sat next to me. His arm wrapped around my waist and he brought me closer to him.

"I love you. You know that, right ? All I want is the best for you."

"Yeah, I know."

He kissed my forehead and continued watching tv.

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My eyes slowly open to pitch darkness. Otto wasn't by my side anymore. In fact, I wasn't even on my couch anymore. I was in my bed tucked in under the covers. I look over to my night stand and check my phone to see it's 12:09 am. I slowly get out of bed and tip toes my small hallway. I peak over the wall to see if Otto was in the kitchen. He was sitting at the table with his lab top doing some work. He looked so peaceful there just doing his work, I didn't want to disturb him. I walk to the bathroom and lock the door. If I was going to do this, I might as well do it now. I went into my medicine cabinet and started searching for the pain killers. Overdosing is how I plan on going out. I found the pain killers and a folded piece of paper. I opened the folded piece of paper to find out it was actually a picture. A picture of me, Otto, Awsten, and Geoff. We took this picture the day their album came out. I smiled at the goofy picture. Awsten was acting like he was eating Geoff's head, Geoff had the funniest look on his face, and there was me and Otto. I was kissing Otto on the cheek and he had a surprise look on his face. Tears formed in my eyes and they soon found their way in my cheek. I can't just leave them behind. They helped me so much. They taught me how to have fun and enjoy myself. They put up with all my drama and problems. They are my friends, my best friends. I dropped the pills and stormed out of the bathroom. I quickly walked myself into the kitchen. Otto looked up from his computer and made eye contact with me.

"Jessica, I didn't know you where.."

I cut him off by smashing my lips into his. He froze for a little but quickly kissed back. He got out of his chair and lifted me up to where I was sitting on the table and he was between my legs. The kiss continued on for a little longer, but then he broke away.

"What is this all about." He huffs, trying to catch some air.

"I almost did it, I almost ended everything Otto. But this picture, this picture stopped me." I said showing him the group picture. " you guys are the main reason I haven't killed myself, you are the main reason I haven't killed myself. I didn't realize how much I would miss you guys until I was about to do it. I'm so so so sorry that I put you through all of this Otto. I'm sorry for ever hurting you. I'm sorry for pretty much choosing death over you. I love you Otto. And it's pretty shitty that I had to almost kill myself to show that."

He smiled at me and kissed me. This kiss was filled with love. More love that I have ever felt.

"I love you too Jessica. Now let's go back to bed."

He picks me up bridal stile and carries me to my room. He puts me in the bed and got in right next to me.

"Goodnight jess." He said kissing my forehead once again.

"Goodnight Otto."

I snuggle as close as I could next to him. This is the last time I would be able to sleep next to him for a while. Tomorrow I'll be spending my next few nights in the hospital. I might as well enjoy this time with him as much as I could. I went to bed with a huge smile on my face. It's been years since this has ever happened to me. I truly loved him, and I don't know what life would be like without him.