Confessions Of An Owl

Nineteen

Silence

The room turns dead silent as soon as the sentence tumbles out of my mouth.

Mason stares up at the ceiling as I hold my breath, waiting for his reaction. He keeps an indifferent attitude before beaming into painfully loud laughter.

"Mason sweetheart..... Why are you laughing?"

"Because you're funny! You slay me!" He holds his stomach, arching he back forward. As he wipes a tear from his eye, he gives me a soft nudge "laugh with me!" When I don't react, he nudges me again but I keep my serious look to make him understand that I was not kidding. Then in a heartbeat, his whole demeanor turns serious and he rotates the upper half of his body straight at me as slow as his sanity allows him. "Why aren't you laughing with me?" His voice is deep and the words flow out like he is choking on each letter.

"Because I love you?" I crack a smile to ease the tension

"Oh no" His hands hold his hair

"Mason, it's okay"

"If you say it's Fin's face, I'm going to jump out of that window and I'm taking Goof with me"

"What did Goof do to you!"

"He annoys the shit out of me"

"Shut up you love him"

"You didn't deny that it's a Fin tattoo"

"That's because it is a Fin tattoo. I have his face on my right butt cheek. Ready to see?" I stand on my knees on the bed and start to unbuckle my pants.

He holds my wrists in front of my face "I will personally peel that tattoo off"

I snatch my hands from his grip and pat his cheek "You're too easy"

He breathes out before asking "Is it for an ex-boyfriend?"

"Yes"

"So you do tattoos for all your boyfriends?"

"No, you jackass" I hit him with my pillow

"Why not? How many tattoos are we talking about?"

"Mason I'm serious"

"I know you are. So is Eugene on there too?

"Mason!"

"He should be! He spent a whole day with you"

"Stop"

"You should do one of him on your back with his 8 legs spread all across. It would be sick!"

This is ridiculous. I lift my shirt up revealing my tattoo, making him eat his words.

"Woah" His eyes fixate on the memory of Nate embedded on my rib.

"It's the rib that broke and damaged his lungs. It's what killed him" I trace the word 'beholden' softly. He's speechless. "You know the one I did today hurts like a bitch but I remember that I didn't feel a single thing when I did this one back then... I guess my remorse over Nate was stronger than my fear of needles" When he still doesn't say anything, I ask "What are you thinking?"

"How the fuck did I miss that!" His loud outburst makes me jump

"What?"

"It's a big ass tattoo! How could I have missed something like that! Jesus Christ, I am oblivious" He slaps his forehead and shakes his head

"Really? That's what you're thinking about? It's almost always hidden and I never changed my shirt in front of you"

"I don't know how to feel about this"