they almost came to a conclusion that he accidentally killed her after he suddenly went pass the line the policemen set and muttered words that meant he didn't meant her dying, he was sorry for not being able to save her.
but after hours of staying inside the police station, them interrogating him about his relationship with her and how it led to this awful mischance they nodded.
all his statements were in line with the cctv camera records on the rooftop and her letter inside her pocket.
today was supposed to be one of the best day throughout his whole existence but it turned to be the exact opposite. it was supposed to be what he imagined but she ruined it.
what was her problem?
he doesn't mind if he keeps on being hurt by her as long as her presence was there, it was enough to make him feel better. he wanted her to be selfish enough to just accept his love and not deny it to herself or think about her being undeserving of him.
but he has no ability to change her who wished not to be changed.
he took a deep breath as he faced the officer with a letter on his hand. it was written for him.
he scoffed.
she really did planned this whole thing. he took the paper, stained with blood, and went home.
he put it inside his drawers and he planned not reading it for he knew it would be full of apologies and reasons. and he would not take it. he's not ready to take her lies again, her covering the whole thing.
no it wasn't true. the quote that says the worst goodbyes was those that was left unsaid. because the hardest ones were the goodbyes that was spoken but the true meaning was concealed. those goodbyes that was spoken without the eager want to rely the message.
the worst goodbyes was those filled with coated words,eventually making it's meaning diverse.
he was mad of himself of not recognizing the hardships and struggles he heard in her voice. he only realized her tone now. and what remembering her was all about.
he doesn't need to let go for he did that the moment she grasp her way out of his hold.
he was weak and afraid of danger. he was lacking courage and resolution.
he was marked by contemptible timidity.
and he can't forgive her for his act of pusillanimity was unforgivable.
[end]
