Just My P.A.

17~ Conflate

Have you ever tried to sieze things so that they end, even when they aren't supposed to? Numbing the pain for a while makes it worse when you finally feel it. It does.You don't know the pain until you are staring at yourself in the mirror with tears streaming down your face and you are begging yourself to hold on and to be strong. You know it's hitting you straight away when the midnight thought's haunt you during the days. I have been feeling the same. It's been days now. I needed an escape but the more I tried to run away the more I got caught in. I was running out of options but the only light I saw at the end of the tunnel was him. Manik. I didn't know how. I don't know why I felt so.I didn't know why. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was right. Maybe,

Rinnngg....

I glanced at my phone.

"Hello...."

"How's it going?!" asked Harshad from the other side. He'd never do unecessary talking.

"I'm still working on it..." I replied casually still caught up in my trance.

"You just have three more days!" his tone remindful.

"I know....but seems like there's something going on here!" I mentioned.

"What exactly? "

"Alya hadn't given out the lyrics...it was someone else...." I went on.

"Listen Nandini....this is not what I sent you for...do what I asked you to!..get me what I want...the new lyrics...." he said in disappointment.

" But I think it's...." I tried to intervene.

"Nandini don't poke your nose into unnecessary matters! " his voice was loud this time. Seemed like it wanted to hide something. But what?

"But I...." I still tried.

"Three days..." he snapped in vexation.

"Listen to me..I think..."

"Three days Nandini!" he warned me I knew.

"Listen...I'm telling you...it might be--" but there was no argument from the other side.

"Hello..."

"Hello???"

I looked down at the phone and realised he had already hung up.

I looked around, putting the phone in my pocket and decided going to the pool as asked.

They say that happiness will find you. But I think sadness finds you too! It sneaks up on you in darkness. Just when you think you have made it through,it opens holes in what was solid ground; the kind you never know are there. Until, you take another step and realise you are standing on air. The world around you pass by. Nothing around you makes sense as you continue your plummate down. Sadness is that feeling when the falling doesn't stop. You finally hit the rock bottom and look back up at the sky. What you once had seems far away. The only thing left to do is cry . People call out things like "Save yourself " , "hope" , "happiness " . But not one of help. Not one.

"Aye Nandini "

My trance broke. I looked about to find Cabir call me over. I realized I had reached the pool side.

"Come sit!" called Mukti next.

I made my way to them and searched a place to sit.

"So have you heard the news!"asked Alya.

"What news?" I asked finally sitting down on the only place there, beside Manik. He gave me a death glare before he turned back at Mukti.

"Our darling Mukti...and this idiot are getting married!" said Alya cheerfully.