ashes [m.h.] (Completed)

Chapter 28.

Matty's p.o.v.

lung cancer.

I left as soon as it sank in.

The words ring through my head every five seconds, and a pang of guilt settles uneasily in the pit of my stomach. I can't help but feel somewhat guilty due to our heavy smoking just hours ago. What if this is my fault? What if it was me who pushed her body over the edge? I can't handle the thought of me being responsible for her possible death.

"How much can I get for this?" I hand the guy a handful of crumpled bills. It's all I could find on short notice.

He counts the money quickly as I eye my surroundings. It's nearly dark out, masking our illegal exchange in the night.

"Here." He says holding out a small platic baggy with white powder sitting in the bottom.

I grab the bag quickly, muttering a bitter thanks as I make my way across the street. My hands are quick to stuff the substance in my jacket before it is seen. The bell above the door rings as I enter the empty gas station, and head straight to what I came for. Bottles and bottles and bottles galore line the isle. My eyes skim over the top row of vodka and I'm tempted to take it. Not tonight. Tonight I have a feeling for a classic treasure of mine. Classic cheap gas station wine. It always hits the spot. My eyes flick down to the bottom shelf, spotting a row of the little devils. I'm quick to snatch one up and head to the register.

As I approach the filthy counter I'm greeted by a woman with a flirtatious smile. Her face is brightly caked with heavy amounts of makeup and her lips smeared with a neon pink. She pops her gum.

"Hard night?" She grabs the bottle by the neck, whilst chewing her gum dramatically.

"Sure." Is all I say, trying to speed the process along.

She rings me up and I hand her my crumpled money.

"Hope you're not spending the night alone." She winks.

An uncomfortable feeling is set in my body, and I cringe at her over-flirtatous actions. I sigh as I take the bottle and walk away. I make my way to my car across the street and hop in, setting the alcohol in the seat Maggie once sat in. I try not to reminisce on the thought too long, by starting the car and heading for my apartment.

***

The white substance fell easily out of the bag, landing on the wood of my kitchen table. I stare at it momentarily. Grabbing the cheap wine, I pop the cork and bring the rim to my lips. I guzzle the smooth liquid I've come to love over the years with ease. The sweet taste lingers on my tongue and I can't help thinking of how much sweeter Maggie tastes.

I don't think twice as I pull a credit card from my wallet. It cuts through the powder easily, when I shape it into uniform lines as I'm all too familiar with doing. I grab a semi- crumpled bill and straighten it out best I can against the corner of the table. Taking the bill between my fingers, I roll it into a neat cigarette-like shape.

lung cancer.

It hits my head again. The faster I get this in my system, the faster I'll forget.

I lean down and bring my nose to the dollar, whilst placing it at the beginning of one line. My finger goes to plug my nostril and with that I inhale deeply, dragging the bill down the line. There's an immediate burn in my nose, the feeling foreign. It's been so long since I've done this.

I let the feeling soak in, and let it mix with the alcohol to bring a increasing buzz. A smile spreads on my face.

I stand from my chair with bottle in hand, and walk towards my room. I rummage through my things until I locate my phone, bringing it back with me to the kitchen table. I don't sit. I simply go through my phone and find exactly what I wanted. I press play and take another long drink of wine before the sound erupts throughout my apartment.

The light dazed feeling takes over and all I feel is pure bliss in this moment. I forget everything and engulf myself in the music blasting through my speakers.

"Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco!" I yell aloud, while dancing around my house.

"They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo! You can see me, you can't squeeze me. I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy," I continue while my hands travel down my torso in a sultry fashion. "I got reasons why I tease 'em, boys just come and go like seasons FERGALICIOUS!"

I dance around my house singing aloud the lyrics to the well known song and guzzling my wine. I end up atop my bed singing to the top of my lungs and jumping till my heart's content.

"Hit it Fergie!" Are the last words to leave my lips before I collapse onto the mattress and sleep the night away.

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Why do I know all the lyrics to fergalicious by heart?

Anyway, hope you like this hot mess of a chapter. Honestly Matty's a hot mess rn so it suits him 😅. More from Maggie coming soon!

....or is there?

(Dramatic DUN DUN DUNNNNN)

-nya