ashes [m.h.] (Completed)

Chapter 31.

Maggie's p.o.v.

True happiness can come from many different places. For example, some people get their joy from things that cost more than they can afford. They believe that the more something costs, or the more extravagant something is, the more happiness it will bring them.  But that's not always the case; in fact, it's likely to be the complete opposite. Sometimes its the simpler times and unnoticed things that bring great joy to others. Life's little moments. I've never really been one to understand this concept.

It's not until I find myself living in one of these 'little moments', do I realize just how great they can be.

I sit on one end Matty's sofa as he sits on the other. A cheap pepperoni pizza is positioned between us, as our focus goes from it to each other every other minute or so. Half of it has vanished, and we don't seem like we want to stop munching on it anytime soon.

We both are deeply enjoying each other's company as we smile contently at each other. Our laughter mixes in a sickly sweet harmony, filling the atmosphere around us as Matty continues on our conversation.

"No, I'm serious Maggie," Matty's deep laugh echoes through the room. "I kissed him in his car, and we haven't spoken of it to this day!"

I watch his face closely, soaking in his radiant features. The way his lips tug at the corners of his mouth into the widest smile I have yet to see from him, makes me wonder why he doesn't do it more often. He bares his slightly crooked teeth and it hits me that I've never really seen them before. Before  he notices my staring, I begin to speak.

"Oh my God Matty. I can't believe you kissed Jackson!" I laugh with him through the mouthful of pizza I'm chewing on.

I can't help myself, laughing so hard as Matty tells me the story. He claims he was drunk and as usual Jackson came to get him. After the drive to the apartment apparently Matty just went for it. He leaned over to Jackson in the driver's seat, grabbed his face and went to town on his lips. He knows Jackson isn't gay, but they still both kissed each other, nearly long enough to be considered making out. He says all he remembers after is Jackson rolling his eyes playfully and helping Matty inside. It's been nearly two years since that night and things were never awkward, they just never brought it up.

Wow, they must be great friends. I don't know much about Jackson, but just from the night I met him I can tell he deeply cares for Matty.

"Tell me more about Jackson." I request, taking another bite of pizza and staring at Matty.

"Alright. Well, lets see. We met my freshman year in high school. I was a mess, and he was there I guess." He shrugs.

"Oh, come on Matty. There's more to it than that, tell me."

He sighs and shoves a slice of pizza between his lips before continuing. I certainly take note of the way his lips move back, bringing just his teeth to the food in hand. He takes a fast bite but in my mind it's all in slow motion.

"Okay, okay." He inturrupts my thoughts. "So we met at some random party. I was drunk off my arse and, well you know the story. He was sober so he was kind enough to help me out, and get me home safely. It's kind of always been that way since. He'd always find me somehow, and he never minded taking me back home. We started hanging out a bit, and talking every now and then. We didn't really get close until my grandmother died." He stops for a second, looking off into the space in front of him.

"I was a complete wreck. That's when I started doing more than just getting wasted. It started with weed. To calm my nerves you know? Then I used cocaine for the first time. It was at another stupid random party. It felt so good, I couldn't get enough. That's how I met Vince. He gave me everything I was craving. Told me I could pay him back later. The bastard. Jackson wasn't aware of any of it. Well, not yet at least. It wasn't until he found me on my bathroom floor, unconscious from all the drugs in my system that he realized how bad I had gotten. Heroine, cocaine, Xanax. Anything I had on me was shoved into my system. He rushed to call an ambulance and I was rolled to the emergency room with him by my side the whole time. The moment I woke up I remember breaking down in front of him. I don't know why but I just felt I could trust him with my true emotions you know?"

I nod, hanging onto every word that leave his lips, as he pours his soul out to me. My heart aches and it takes everything in me not to hop over the pizza between us and hug him until the end of time.

I watch as he gathers himself and continues on.

"We grew an unspoken bond after that. Never really talked about us being 'best mates' or anything but we are always there for each other." He smiles and looks down at his chest. "He was there when I got my tattoo."

His hand goes to the hem of his shirt and he pulls it over his head in one swift motion. My eyes go to his chest and watch as his fingers trace over the "Annie" tattoo I discovered a while ago.

"He was right next to me when I got this. He knew how much she meant to me and he wasn't going to let me go alone. Jackson is a once in a lifetime type of person you know? Glad to have him."

Silence floods the room and I'm speechless at Matty's confession. His fingers never stop tracing the engraving on his chest, and I watch him intently. His features are unreadable as he stares out into the space in front of him.

"Matty-" I say, barley above a whisper.

His head whips in my direction and his sad eyes hit me hard. "I'll be ur anchor, but I'm scared you'll drown. Its safer on the ground." He cuts me off.

I'm immediately confused.

"What?" I question.

"I'll be your boyfriend, Maggie. But I know what kind of person I am. I don't want to ruin you." He sighs.

A smile creeps up on my face and I look at him with soft eyes. He returns the gesture with his famous lop-sided smile, making my cheeks warm.

"Matthew Timothy Healy, how do you do that?"

"Do what?" He questions.

"How do you come up with all of those poetic lines you spit on the spot?"

He simply chuckles in response, and nudges the cardboard pizza box my direction.

"More pizza?" He asks, completely dodging my question.

I don't push it any further, taking a slice from the box and repeating his line.

"More pizza."

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