ashes [m.h.] (Completed)

Chapter 29.

Maggie's p.o.v.

I force my eyes open the second I come to. A deep breath fills my lungs and a tired feeling sets within me. A heavy weight rests on my chest as I try to regulate my breathing. My hand reaches my face, and my fingers come in contact with a plastic tube running along my cheek and into my nose. I fumble with it briefly before realizing what it is. My eyes scan the room and it fully sets in. I'm in the hospital.

Images of my body being held tightly in Matty's arms and rushed to help run through my mind. The worried look on his face when he yelled my name is scarred into my mind, and causes my body to ache.

Where is he?

"Maggie?"

I look up to see a young woman walking into the room.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Tibbit. I'm glad to see you're awake now." She greets me with a white smile. "Do you remember anything?"

All I can think of is seeing Matty panic through my tear-blurred vision.

I shake my head no.

"Well, you seemed to be having some sort of lung problem. Your chest pains were a little out of control, so we had to stabilize your body best we could with a heavy sedative. How are you feeling?"

"I'm-" my voice comes out dry and raspy. I clear my throat. "I'm okay. Just a little tired."

"That's great to hear. " She takes a seat on my bed, "Is there any unusual pain anywhere? There might be some soreness."

"Just a little soreness, but not too bad." I weakly respond.

She sighs. "Alright. Now Maggie, I have some good and bad news."

I shift uneasily at the worried tone in her voice.

"So, we ran some tests and did some bloodwork once you were stable. We knew something was really wrong, so we tested for every virus, infection, and disease we could think of. And we unfortunately found something serious. Maggie, you have a semi-rare form of a bronchogenic carcinomas. Or lung cancer."

My breath catches in my throat and it feels like the wind has been knocked out of me. Cancer?

"But don't freak out." She quickly adds. "Like I said, the type you have is semi-rare. And it seems to be not as severe as cancer usually is. Now, we do offer chemo and radiation treatments here, and as long as you come in once a week, you'll be able to live a perfectly normal life. The treatment isn't forever. At some point the cancer cells should go away, and you'll be in remission. But I should warn you, chemo tends to be brutal on some people's systems. So, it's your decision to make. I'll let you chat with your mother and boyfriend about it for now."

Boyfriend?

She stands from the bed and exists the room quietly, leaving me to my thoughts.

All I can think about is where Matty could be. I wish he would've been here when I woke up. I wish he was here now to comfort me with this terrible news. I replay her words in my head, letting them soak in. Then it hits me like a truck. My mom is here??

A soft knock on the door pulls me from my thoughts. I look up to find mom standing in the doorway with a worried look on her face.

"Mom!" I breathe.

She hastes towards me and I immediately take her in my arms. I hold her tight as we embrace each other for the first time in a while.

"I missed you so much" I choke out as we continue our hug. She pulls back, keeping ahold of my hands, to get a good look at me.

"How are you, sweetheart?"

"I'm okay mom, don't worry."

"I'm sure you're perfectly fine with that handsome Matthew of yours to take care of you." She teases.

I'm sure my face as gone red as I try to act normal. She met him already? God, I hope he didn't curse in front of her. He has a tendency to curse at all the wrong times.

"You didn't tell me you got yourself a little boyfriend."

Boyfriend. That word again.

"Momm..." I drag out playfully. "He's not a 'little boyfriend'. I actually dont know what we are..." my tone gets a bit serious.

"Well whatever you call yourselves, I can tell that he cares for you. He was so torn apart when he found out-"

"Matty knows?" I cut her off.

If he knew why isn't he here? He should be here. I don't want to be alone with this terrible disease. And I really don't want him to be alone to handle it. If he's as bad as mom says, then who knows what he's doing to feel better now. I don't want him slipping back into old habits, or even creating new ones. He needs me right now. And I need him.

"Maggie?" My mother's voice brings me back to reality. She sighs. "I'll let you rest sweetheart. I'll be back later." She pats my hand twice before making her way out, giving me one last  smile before disappearing.

My mind won't stop worrying about him. What could he be doing?

As if on cue the boy himself stumbles through the door, and my eyes widen.

"Matty." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Hey." He gives me a lopsided smile as he walks my way. I notice the object in his hand as he raises it and hands it to me.

"S'mores frappuchino for the lovely lady." He says, kissing my forehead.

I take the cup and say a quick thanks before sipping it and setting it on the little bedside table.

He sits on the edge of the bed, but doesn't face me. Chocolate curls fall around his face as he looks blankly at the floor. I watch as he doesn't move, staying still as stone on the small bed.

"Matty-" is all I say. I can't figure out what he's feeling.

He sniffles, and brings a hand up to wipe his nose.

"Yea?" His voice sounds shaky.

"Look at me."

He sniffles once more before sighing and turning himself towards me. He looks through the long curls covering his eyes to meet my gaze. I bring my hands to his face and gently part the curls, moving them off his face. I study him. His eyes are red. Tears stain his cheeks. He looks tired. I wipe the wetness from his cheeks.

"Come here." Is all I say, pulling him to me.

He shifts onto the bed, and lays his head on my chest, wrapping an arm around my waist in the process. I rub his back as I feel hot tears seep through my thin hospital gown. I don't say a word, just sitting there comforting him as best I can. He reeks of alcohol but I don't think too much on it. All that matters right now is this moment. My hand reaches his hair and I thread my fingers through his forest of curls. I lightly scratch at his scalp in a soothing manner, and he instantly calms at the touch.

"I'm sorry." He croaks. His voice is raspy and strained, making my heart ache.

"For what?" I ask.

"For killing you."

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My heart hurts after writing this.

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Enjoy!

-nya