Way Beyond Repair - ((Niall Horan))

Chapter 15: First time

when I started writing this chapter, it was 11:53pm and it was pouring down rain. it was really nice and peaceful until the thunder hit, the lightening struck and the god damned power went out. but anyway I had a heap of spare time and I couldn't sleep.

the songs I listened to when I was writing were When The Darkness Comes by Colbie Caillat, the City Of Bones version, and Heart by Heart by Demi Lovato, also the City Of Bones version. as you could probs tell, City Of Bones is my all time fave movie and fave book series seriously read the books and watch the movie bc it all gives me so much inspiration to write and listen to the soundtrack it drives me insane.

also I'm gonna marry Jamie Campbell Bower (he plays Jace in the movie) and he is a babe ugh he's an actor and a singer and a MODEL I'm fanning myself rn omfg.

enjoy the chapter guys xx

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NIALLS POV, FOUR DAYS AFTER NEW YEARS

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My phone buzzed for the billionth time today. It buzzed a billion times yesterday too, and the day before, and the day before. How to resolve the buzzing? Eventually it drives you so insane that you throw it at the wall and watch it break to tiny pieces. My phone was a lot like me, broken into such tiny pieces that they could never be put back together. Unless an angel or genie or some shit comes and waves their wand to fix everything and make the hurt go away. But I knew that wouldn't happen for a while.

The phone calls were always from the same people, Harry, Zayn, Louis, Liam, Mia, and even Greg and Denise. I guess one of the boys told them.

But the weird thing was, even though I told her I needed space, Imogen never called. Well she did once when I told her to give me space, but I had to convince myself that that call didn't count. It didn't, did it? It was nice to hear her voice but at the same time I hated how it was nice. That warm, happy feeling I get whenever I talk to her was creeping up to me but I managed to get enough will power to push it away and leave it there for a while.

I know everybody was calling me just to make sure I was safe and okay. I'm safe but I'm sure as hell not okay. How the fuck could I be okay? Imogen, my Imogen, kissed her ex boyfriend, her first love. Was I supposed to be okay with it? Just brush it off and say 'its okay, I forgive you for cheating on me'? Of course not. I would never ever ever be okay with it. I just couldn't get the image of him holding her and touching her when I should've been the one to make her feel good, not him. Him. I couldn't even say his name, when Imogen told me about him I figured he was a good guy for treating Imogen well. Then he left, he left her, and it was me who came along and treated her like a queen. He lost his chance.

The sudden ringing of my home phone snapped me away from my thoughts, thank God I got out before they started to eat me alive. I put my glass of Jack Daniels down on my coffee table and groaned as I lifted my body lazily off my couch. I yanked my tracksuit pants up properly and stumbled over to the phone. I didn't stumble because I was drunk, I had barely had two drinks, today, but I stumbled because I hadn't moved from that spot on the couch for hours. As I reached the phone, I hesitated to check the number. It was Harry. I picked up on the fifth ring and leant onto the cool surface of the bench.

"Hello." I said hoarsely, clearing my throat so I could talk properly.

"Hey, it's me." Harry answered.

"I know. What do you want?" Anger bubbled inside of me again and by the time I began talking it was too late to stop it. "Let me guess, you wanna know why I haven't been answering my phone lately. You wanna know why I haven't left my apartment in days. You wanna know why I've hardly moved from my couch, not even to take a shower. You wanna know why I haven't talked to anybody in ages. Well, Harry, let me tell you something. I'm done being so independent on people. The only person I need to worry about is myself. Why do I need to talk to anybody anyway."