The Movie that Changed Our Lives (Elijah Wood/LOTR FanFic)

A Difficult Six Months

I sniffled in my bed, knowing that I should get up and tend to my kids. I just had no physical strength to get up on my feet. I had just spent the entire morning throwing up in my bathroom, and I started crying in between hurls. This was the same bathroom where I had my miscarriage, and where Elijah had cared for me with all the love in the world. That love was broken, gone with another woman. He wasn't going to rock me and whisper Warm Kitty to calm down the pain I felt. Now that Elijah wasn't there to take away my pain and suffering, nothing was. I was cursed to deep depression and emotional baggage to the rest of my life.

Someone gently tapped on the door, and I grumbled, cuddling more with the covers. Without waiting for a reply, Mom walked in with a tray of soup and orange juice. I squinted at her figure and forced out a tiny smile, which immediately disappeared when my cramps began to occur again.

"Are you hungry?" Mom asked.

"I think if I eat," I groaned, "then I'll throw it all up." Mom raised an eyebrow at me, waiting for an explanation. "I-I'm pregnant, Mom." So much for keeping it a secret. I guess that in the end, she needed to know.

"Oh, honey," Mom sighed, setting the tray on my nightstand and sitting down beside me. "Don't worry about the kids, okay? They are playing in the treehouse right now, and I'll take care of them for the rest of the day."

Oh god, the treehouse. Elijah and I used to hang out there all the time. Elijah proposed to me there, and I told him that I was pregnant with Eva there. That treehouse, with its worn boards and frayed curtains, contained so much history between us. I did not know if I wanted them to be in there. It hurt too much to even hear the words "treehouse." I opened my mouth to forbade the kids from playing in it, but quickly shut it. I couldn't shun them from childhood like that. Just because that treehouse contained a lot of memories of when me and Elijah were younger didn't mean our kids couldn't play with it. I would be such a cruel mom.

"Does Elijah know?" I shook my head. "Well, aren't you going to tell him? Say, where is he anyway? Too busy with his movie?"

"I-I think we're done now," I softly told her.

"What do you mean done?!"

"H-He cheated on me, Mom," I gasped, feeling tears silently stream down my face.

Mom blinked at me in disbelief. "A-Are you sure?" she titled her head, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. "Elijah isn't a cheating man, Kat. You know that."

"T-Then how did I see some random woman drop him home late," I blubbered, "a-and why did she kiss him?! A-And why didn't he do anything?! H-He just stood there and did nothing!"

"Kat..." Mom soothingly rubbed my arms, but that did not help me at all. I shrank away from her touch and buried my face deep in the pillows, sobbing again. Man, my hormones were an out-of-control, raging mess. I was not going to survive this breakup, or whatever the heck this was. "W-Why don't you go talk to him? You two always seem to work things out when you're talking."

"I don't want to hear his voice," I bitterly mumbled, "I don't want to see his ugly face ever again."

"Oh, honey," Mom replied, "that's never going to happen. You two have children together. You can't just pull them away from their dad."

I knew that she was right, but I didn't want to believe her. Eva and Connor couldn't stay away from Elijah no matter what I did. Connor would especially throw a fit and hate me even more, for he loved Elijah far more than he loved me. No amount of postpartum depression medicine could change that.

"I-I don't know what to do, Mom," I sadly muttered. "D-Do I divorce him? H-How do you even file for div-"

"Now, now," she interjected, "let's not get too rash too quickly. I would just stay separated for about six months or so, and see if you really do need to divorce him. We don't want to regret that decision, now do we?"

"I-I guess so."

"Why don't you just stay here for a while until then? We can drive the kids to school from here when school starts up again. Just stay here and relax, and the decision will come to you eventually. There's no need to worry, Kat honey. I'll take care of you."

I was a bit surprised. Ever since Dad died, Mom barely gave me any attention, especially like this. Maybe she knew this was important to me, like when Elijah and I were engaged. Oh god, that time before my wedding was so hard. It took so much effort to get Mom on my side, to accept that me and Elijah were in love and were having a baby together. Once she approved our marriage, I was the happiest daughter in the world. It all suddenly made me wonder. Did she not agree with our engagement and marriage because she thought this was going to happen? Did she predict our separation years before it actually occurred? She probably never had faith in me. She probably thought Elijah and I were only cut out as friends, and maybe she was right. Maybe it was a mistake marrying him. Maybe it was a mistake sleeping with him that one night in Ireland. Maybe all of this was a mistake.

But it couldn't be. I was so happy with him. Every time I saw that spark in his eye, or felt his comforting touch, I felt loved. No one ever made me feel that special. I could barely do anything without him, and whenever we were separated for long periods of time, I missed him like crazy. I could feel my cheeks blush just thinking about him and those loving, huge blue eyes of his. Our friendship, our romantic relationship could not be a huge mistake. We had too many fond memories together for it to be a mistake. But here we both were, running away from one another. Something went wrong in our marriage, and there was no denying the fact. Elijah and I must have lost some of the magic somewhere, somehow. I did not know how or how to get it back, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to.

I stayed in bed all day, pondering on what to do. The kids were worried that they didn't see me, but Mom explained that I was sick, and needed to get better. That only inclined them to try and come up to see me even more, until Mom kept them occupied with some old coloring books from when I was little. I promised myself that the next day, I would spend a bunch of time with them. I just hated abandoning my children, even though they were a floor beneath me. At least I spent the whole day with the baby in my stomach, who was silently moving about without offering me any guidance. I bit my lip and stroked my flat stomach, reimagining the times when my stomach grew because of Eva and Connor. That was going to happen again, and I was going to have trouble moving around. By the time six months was up, my stomach would have already started growing, and it was only a matter of time before I couldn't see my legs or most of my feet.

Falling asleep that night was so difficult. I had spontaneous nightmares that all involved Elijah, and I would wake up each time sobbing my eyes out. One was where Elijah and I were arguing in a divorce court and our children and the press were there observing us. There was so much yelling, so much constant bickering and shouts that it almost got violent. In my dream I could feel my body shaking from so much anger, and I could feel my eyes sting from so many tears. The scent of betrayal thickly hung in the air and made it hard to breathe, and there I was, chocking back on my tears. I remembered my shame as I saw pictures of us all over magazine and tabloid covers, our disgusting faces stretched out and spanned across every inch of the paper. In another dream, I saw the smirk of the other woman as she walked down a flowery aisle with Elijah. I cringed when I saw that she was wearing my wedding dress and veil, and she was not pregnant at all. I could not help but cry in the bushes I hid in, for she looked so perfect and young compared to me. I seriously looked a fat, pregnant mess on my wedding day, while she looked like a Greek goddess. Elijah was also so joyful with her, more than he ever was with me.

The nightmare that made me feel the worst was one that had occurred before. As if I was experiencing everything for the first time, I recounted all those tears and all that pain when I saw Elijah in that hospital bed, with blood caked on his pale face. I was still behind that glass window, my wedding ring decayed and my baby smashing my pregnant belly from the insides. And to make everything worse, she was there on the other side. That other girl was sitting by Elijah's bedside, and I could hear her voice singing him a lullaby, one that shattered my eardrums and made my brain explode. Oh god, I could not take all that anymore. I tried and tried to pound on the window and break it, just like I tried to do before, but Elijah and that woman did not even know I existed. I was treated like garbage, and Elijah did not even care.

I was visibly trembling like crazy when I awoke. All of my nightmares seemed so real to me. I felt all that emotion throughout all those nightmares, and I just wanted them all to end. It was all too much for me, and I could not handle any of it, especially without Elijah. Elijah was my rock to every single tragic moment that happened in my life. Right then, I wanted him to hold me so badly, to stroke my hair and whisper that everything was going to be alright. I wanted him to sing me Warm Kitty and bring me security and peace. Instead, I had to curl up in a little ball, and rely on my body heat to comfort me. I had to huddle close, even though all I wanted was to cuddle with him. It was the best thing I could do at the moment, considering the circumstances.

I sort of adjusted myself to my situation during the next month. I tried to look strong in front of Eva and Connor, and only wept at night, when there was no one there watching. For weeks I debated if I should keep my rings on or not, and I finally decided to take them off. I should have kept them on to keep privacy from the prying eyes of the press world, but I felt so terrible keeping them on. I felt as though I was keeping a horrible lie to myself and the world, and I didn't want to be guilty over it. Also, my eyes watered up in unimaginable ways whenever they laid eyes on my rings. Just looking at them brought back those beautiful, wonderful memories, and it hurt me every time they entered my brain. I needed to block it all out, once and for all.

That first month, I kept no contact with Elijah at all. I did not hear the sound of his voice at least one day during that time period. Every single day he left countless voicemails, but I did not have the heart to listen to them. I just could not get myself to press that button. I knew that if I did, then I'd be balling my eyes out until there was no water in my body. It troubled me so much. Not counting our year long breakup, I always heard him talk at least once a day. This time was different, though. That breakup was for a totally different reason. Back then, he was unsure and he did not betray me in any way. This time, he spent his time with another woman, and literally killed my heart. It was easy to forgive him last time, but it was a lot harder now. Mom thought it was unhealthy that me and the kids went without speaking with Elijah for so long, but I did not care. Even though my children were begging to see their daddy again, I was not ready to talk to him.

I tried to keep myself busy. I still went to therapy sessions and I dealt with Eva and Connor's schools all the time. When they were both absent from my watch, I went to visit Mandy, Maryam, Leo or Dom, who just moved to LA. They were all so shocked and heartbroken when I told them my problem with Elijah. None of them believed that Elijah could do such a thing, especially to me. I would just somberly shrug my shoulders and say that it did happen, and that there was nothing I could do to change it. Mandy was the only one who would not accept our separation. Once she knew everything, she was in complete hysterics.

"This is all some sort of crazy dream!" she insisted.

I shook my head. "I wish it was, Mandy. I really do. I saw it with my own two eyes."

"No!" she exclaimed, "Elijah would never kiss another girl!" She threw up her hands in the air in exasperation. "No, wait! Elijah would never LOOK at another girl!"

"Well he saw this one," I bitterly murmured, "one who was a lot prettier and sluttier than me."

"Nope, you're lying, Kat," Mandy vigorously shook her head. "At least let me prove it to you."

"How?" I scoffed. "You can't fix whatever he did."

"Let me talk to him," she begged.

"No, Mandy!" I snapped at him, crossing my arms on my chest. "That bastard needs to suffer like I am. I don't want anyone to even utter a word to him."

"Well, you can't prevent the other Hobbits from doing that," Mandy pointed out. She was right, but I was too sour to admit it. Sometimes it seemed like they were better friends with Elijah than with me. Maybe it was because they were all boys. No matter how hard a girl tried, she could never really fit in with the boys. It was the daunting truth I needed to accept.

Elijah must have talked to the boys a lot, because every time I hung out with them, they always tried to talk about Elijah and how sorry he was for hurting me. That made me so upset that he was using them to get to me. I mean, I suppose there was no other way to get to me, since I ignored every single voicemail he left me and refused to see him. The boys were starting to think I was being ridiculous, but I wasn't. They didn't understand the pain I felt, and they definitely didn't understand me with my pregnancy hormones raging out of control.

"Come on, Kat," Dom sighed, "at least let the kids see him."

"When he's done with filming," I frowned, taking a sip of the glass of water Dom gave me. This whole entire breakup, I was annoyed that I could not have a drop of alcohol in my body. I hated it when I was pregnant in these types of situations. I needed to drink to make everything feel a little less worrisome. Water did nothing for me. Usually cheesy food and chocolate did, but it was never enough.

"Isn't that a month away? You're going to do that to him for another month?!"

"He barely paid attention to me while he was filming," I angrily reminded him, "who's to say he won't do it to the kids, take them and leave them somewhere without realizing it."

"I don't think Elijah would do such a thing," said Dom. "He loves those kids, Kat, and you know that."

"Well, I thought he loved me too!" I cried, "and look at me! Look what he did to me!"

Eventually, there were too many people pressing me to call him, and I couldn't take it anymore. My pregnancy hormones and pains were not putting me in the greatest moods, and I couldn't take all that pressure. I was seriously about to explode and go into a huge mental and emotional breakdown. I could feel my insides bubbling and ready to burst. Finally, when my phone rang for the billionth time, I answered it. I shakily said hello, trying to keep it together for Elijah. I didn't need him to hear me in this state, and think I was so weak.

"H-Hi, Kitty-I mean Kat," Elijah stuttered, nervous as hell.

"Hi, Elijah."

"S-So, did you get my voice messages?" Elijah wondered. "I was starting to worry about you and the kids, because you never responded."

"Now you start to worry," I sarcastically said. At this point, I was really trying to prevent myself from balling in sadness. I missed the sound of his voice so much, and it sounded so depressed and hurt. My poor baby Elijah was suffering so much, and I wanted to be with him so badly. I just could not succumb to it all so easily. I needed to resist it for at least six months, and only three months had passed by.

"Kitty-I mean Kat," Elijah trembled, "c-can we talk about this?"

"No, Elijah," I firmly told him. "I'm staying away from you for another three months. I need at least six months of space, so I can figure out what to do."

"O-Oh god," Elijah cried. It sounded like he was about to sob right there on the phone. "I-I don't want to divorce you. P-Please, Kitty Kat."

I flinched at the sound of my nickname. "You brought this on yourself, Elijah," I gulped. "Now, I don't know what I'm going to do, but divorce is one of those possibilities, okay?"

"C-Can I at least see my kids," Elijah sniffled, "please, Kat."

"If you go to your house," I replied. "I can send them to your house next door and you can return them there when you're done. That's it. I don't want to see your face, alright? Do you understand me, Elijah?"

"Oh, thank you, Kat! I love yo-"

I quickly hung up the phone before he finished talking, my eyes tearing up at the words. I could not believe that with everything we were going through, he had the nerve to say that he loved me. In the back of my mind, I knew that he was acting on impulse, that he was used to saying that to me. It still infuriated me anyway.

I only knew Elijah had come when I was alone in my room. Our phone conversation from earlier made me so devastated and exhausted, so I went to go take a nap to calm myself down. I had another terrible nightmare, one where Elijah and his other woman kidnapped Eva and Connor and moved away, leaving me alone with this child in my stomach. I woke up sweating and in distress, my head spinning and my cramps hurting like crazy. Oh god, I couldn't let Elijah spend time with them. If I did, then he was never going to let me have them back. I bet the kids would agree with Elijah and escape me with him, since they were angry I kept their dad away from them. Oh no, I did not want that to happen to me. None of this was my fault, and I was going to be punished for it anyway.

I scrambled out of bed and quickly glanced around the room, figuring out what I should do. I needed to go downstairs and make sure the kids did not leave with Elijah. I had to protect them from him the best I could. I knew that this was a bad idea, letting Elijah spend some time with the kids. This was all a huge mistake, and I needed to fix it fast.

The sunlight from the window blinded me and my current thoughts, and I grumbled as I stomped over to close the curtains. That sunlight meant happiness, and at the moment I was far from cheerful. Right when I was about to move the curtains, I saw something in the distance. Squinting in the light, I saw Elijah's whiteboard, perched up on his window just like it did in the old days, a message written across it.

Enjoy your nap. I didn't want to wake you, so your mom sent the kids over. I'll return them by eight tonight. And don't worry about dinner. I'll take care of it. Thanks again, Kat.

I trembled there on the window still, unable to believe that I missed him. Now I just had to hope that Elijah would return the kids to me, to their own mom. Overwhelmed by all the emotions sweeping through my head, I held my body close, weeping right there for hours. That whiteboard brought back so many memories, and I wanted nothing more than to grab my whiteboard and write a message back. We used to do that all the time, back when we were friends and everything was less complicated. I should have never kissed him that day long ago, for if I didn't, then none of this would have happened. I would not have fallen in love with him, and we wouldn't be in the mess. We should have just stayed friends, so I didn't have to go through all this emotional baggage.

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Once Elijah wrapped up film production, he spent a lot more time with the kids. No matter what, I refused to see him, sending the children next door instead. My stomach was slowly starting to increase in size, and I did not want Elijah to see it. I didn't even tell Eva and Connor about the baby. If they knew, they were going to tell Elijah, and I did not want them to. I needed my pregnancy to remain a secret with him. He would insist staying by my side if he knew, and I still wasn't ready to be with him. That distance between me and Elijah was both my downfall and savior. Sure, I cried almost every time I was alone for a large amount of time, but I knew that if I stood in front of him, I'd cave and start sobbing in his arms. I couldn't do that, not yet.

Disgusted by my rings, I had it stowed away in my jewelry box. Once or twice I had the urge to gaze upon my engagement and wedding rings, but after a little bit, I would start crying way too much. Just feeling them and looking at them brought back so many memories, and I did not want to deal with them. They were all too painful to remember, and I just could not do it. Of course, the lack of rings on my fingers sent the Paps in a frenzy whenever I went out. They were all speculating that Elijah and I were separated, and when confronted, Elijah and I did not answer them. Pretty soon, the press was going insane with it, and Mr. Jameson insisted that I needed to answer their questions. I did not want to one bit, but Mr. Jameson left me no choice.

So finally, when one person shoved a camera and microphone in my face, I answered them.

"Are you and Elijah separated, Kat?" he asked.

"Yes we are," I snapped at him. "Now leave me and my family some privacy."

It was a short encounter, but it no doubt sent the world in a frenzy. People began saying all sorts of weird stuff, and always tried to decipher the meaning of my grumpy, rude tone in my answer. The reason was simple: they were pissing me off. I needed them to leave me alone. All I wanted was privacy, so I could grieve on my own. I didn't need all of these sudden phone calls from the press and all those movie star "friends." I ignored them all, even though Mr. Jameson wasn't too pleased with my decision. Well, he wasn't the boss of me. He couldn't tell me how to handle my separation or my personal problems. That wasn't his role as an agent, and he needed to back off.

By the time my baby bump was noticeable, I wore very lose clothing and barely went out in public. My mom worried about all my errands, so I only left the house to go to therapy sessions. I led a pretty sad, isolated life because of this separation. Elijah was forced to still go out and attend events, and from the pictures Maryam told me about, he seemed to be a mess. He tried not to show it, but his eyes revealed the intense sadness and shame he felt. I refused to see those pictures, because I knew what they were going to do to me.

"Come on, Kat," sighed Maryam. "You can't keep avoiding him like this. You'll be fine."

"I only have two months left," I grimly replied.

"You're being ridiculous," Maryam shook her head.

"Well, how would you handle it if Daniel cheated on you?!" I exclaimed.

Maryam was silent for a moment, thinking it through. She loved her husband Daniel, even though they didn't see each other as much as me and Elijah did. They were both marine biologists and had no kids. Yet they were so happy together. Not as happy as me and Elijah were, though. "I-I don't know," she admitted. "He would have to prove to me that he's truly sorry."

I scoffed. "Men are never sorry. They just do whatever they want, however they want."

"Not Elijah," Maryam interjected. "I've never seen a man more diligent and caring as Elijah."

"As he was," I corrected her, "he cheated on me, remember?"

"I still don't believe it," said Maryam. "I still think that girl was drunk and took advantage of him. He's not the one who kissed her first, right?" I nodded. "And he didn't kiss her back, right?"

"I-I don't know. It was hard to tell...but he hesitated, Maryam! Isn't that more than enough?"

"He was probably shocked," Maryam tried to explain. "He didn't know what to do. That's never happened to him before." Maryam sighed at my sulking expression. "Stop being so stubborn, Kat. My god, you and Elijah are so stubborn. I thought you two got over that after your first breakup."

I didn't say anything in reply. Maryam put some true, wild facts in my head, and I wasn't sure what to think about them. I thought of it for the rest of the six months, debating what to do with our marriage more than ever. Once the sixth month ended, I took a deep breath and slept it off. Mom was completely wrong; I still didn't know what to do. I knew the right decision was to divorce him, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to do that. What he did was horrible, however, I wasn't sure if it should be punished with divorce. Maybe I just needed to separate from him some more, and get back on my feet. That was probably the best thing to do. I didn't tell Elijah, though. I wanted to wait a bit more, so I knew that I was sure.

Mr. Jameson called me one afternoon, and I reluctantly answered the phone. He said Conan was inviting me to be a guest on his show tomorrow. I was puzzled, for I wasn't doing anything to earn the visit. People who went on talk shows were promoting their latest TV show or movie, and I didn't do any of that. Mr. Jameson said it was because Conan needed a guest, and he wanted just to chat with me. I didn't really believe Mr. Jameson's promise that it was going to be a harmless, fun interview, but I ended up agreeing to do it. I just hoped Conan wouldn't talk about Elijah too much. Then I would be very tempted to leave in the middle of the interview.