Trust Your Instincts

-26- Another One?

Saturday was upon then, and Jack had decided to walk to the funeral. He was dressed in his black suit and tie, and he had made his best attempt to style his hair so it looked more suitable for such a formal occasion. Isaac had offered to drive him there, but he declined, he knew that if he saw anyone prior to the funeral he'd cry before it had even started. He had to walk.

 He was happy with the weather conditions, it wasn't a downpour, and for that he was thankful. It was still cloudy, the completely grey skies allowing a little rain to fall, the kind that is so light that it collects in little white buds on your hair and clothes.

 When he reached the graveyard, he was hit with another wave of emotions, but managed to keep them inside as he walked to the spot where Josh's funeral would take place, already seeing a small gathering of people standing in the soft grass. 

 Jack took his place beside Felix and Isaac, the latter was already in tears, leaning against Felix's shoulder. Jack tried his best to discipline himself, gritting his teeth to the point where he thought they might shatter in an attempt to hold the tears back, but as soon as everyone was present and the funeral had begun, there was no hope.

 He stood and stared at the coffin as it was lowered into the ground, and Josh's girlfriend gave a short tearful speech. Jack didn't make eye contact with anyone, he knew that seeing someone else's emotions would cause him to lose control, and so he kept his eyes fixed on the coffin, playing with his fingers behind his back. 

 Isaac was next to give his speech, Jack had refused to, as he knew that he wouldn't make it through it, and he wasn't ever really one for public speaking anyway. Isaac had said any word that he'd want to say anyway, and so he listened to Isaac giving his speech through sobs, nodding along with every compliment Isaac gave.

 Isaac was near the end of his speech when Jack felt an arm snake it's way under his left arm and a hand rest on his right shoulder. He looked to his left to see Mark, tears in his eyes too. He didn't know if it was the show of affection, or just someone else staring at him with such concern and empathy, but Jack finally released everything he had been bottling up.

 Mark engulfed Jack in a hug as the green haired man sobbed loudly into his shoulder, attracting the attention of a few others. Jack was past the point of caring what others thought, and in any case, what would they expect from a funeral? Josh's mother was sobbing just as loud.

 This outburst caused Isaac to cut his speech short, as he too was unable to talk any more, and walked back to put his arm around Felix.

 Jack didn't really remember the rest of the funeral, he spent the whole time with his face buried in Mark's shoulder, who was trying to calm him down by rubbing his back gently. The circular motions did soothe Jack slightly, and when the funeral was over, he was able to speak again. His face was still red and his nose was runny, but he managed to pay his condolences to Josh's family, before walking from the graveyard alone.

 Mark caught up to him, half jogging, half walking, and placed his hand gently on his shoulder.

 "Can I walk you home Jack?" Mark asked softly.

 Jack just nodded in reply, lifting his head slightly to look into Mark's eyes, and trying his best to smile.

 Mark took his hand and walked down the street and towards Jack's house. Not a word was spoken the whole journey, but Jack was grateful to be with someone, especially Mark, who was proving to be just as comforting as Isaac could be.

 Jack invited Mark in, which Mark accepted politely, kicking his shoes off at the door and following Jack into the bedroom.

 Jack collapsed on the bed.He wasn't crying anymore,  he didn't think he could cry ever again after today. Mark stayed close to the door, unsure of what to do.

 "Would you like me to get you anything?" He said, trying to sound as caring as he possibly could.

 "No, thanks." Jack declined, his voice cracking slightly when saying thanks. "I just... I just need someone... i-if you don't mind?"

 Mark nodded understandingly, remembering how he needed someone when his mother and brother passed. He went to the other side of the bed and laid down, cautiously, his pulse racing, making sure not to touch Jack when doing so. He didn't wanna come off the wrong way, as if he was making a move. The last thing he wanted at this point was Jack finding out about his feelings for him.

 Jack, however, was the one to roll over, cuddling into Mark's side slightly, as he adjusted his position so the two were more comfortable. They lay there for a little, listening to the sound of one another's breathing, until Mark eventually drifted off to sleep, leaving Jack alone with his thoughts.

 He knew what he wanted to do. He knew the risks, but he had made up his mind, he could pull it off. 

 He was going to do it, for Josh. He was going to do it tonight.

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A/N Hello again!

I'm really enjoying writing this story, so I hope I'm not letting any of you down with the content hahahah.

 The next two (i think) chapters are gonna be long ones I think, or I will try to make them so. I actually have something planned for once, so I'm excite to see how it goes down ;P hopefully it will be alright, it tends to happen that what I'm planning in my mind is like ten times better than what I actually write down.

but anyway! thank you for reading to this point, and I hope to see you in the next chapter :D