Trust Your Instincts

-31- Rekindling Revelation

Another week passed, and Mark went by once again unnoticed, as if he didn't even attend school. He didn't get any texts, he didn't receive any acknowledgements in the hallway, and people had stopped sending him sympathetic looks as they walked past. Josh was completely forgotten about by most of the students, and Will was a distant memory now.

He sat in physics, his least favourite class now that Jack sat at the front, joking lightheartedly with the girl who he was sitting next to. He had gained a little more confidence after Will's death. Of course, he was still shy and introverted, but now he actually put in the effort to actually speak to people other than Isaac and Felix.

Mark looked ahead at him, in a sort of trance, Jack's profile showing as his head turned to the left. Once Mark realised that he was staring, he sighed audibly and looked down at his work, not yet started, even though the class was almost over. He had to stop spending his time in class doing nothing, if he wanted to get into a decent university.

Laurel sat by his side, she had been taking notes all class, barely picking her head up from where it was hovering, two inches above her notebook. It was clear that she had caught on to Mark's despair, however, as she sat up straight and put her pen down after she heard him sigh.

"Mark," she said, her voice soft, and very polite. Mark realised that in the week or so that he had been sitting with her, they had never once exchanged words until now. He hadn't even heard her voice until now. Somehow, though, it felt like they had formed a good relationship on looks of empathy and understanding alone.

"I'm not an idiot," she continued. "It was obvious when you first sat down next to me that something was bothering you, and judging my the number of times that you've looked over to Jack, I'd assume that he's the problem?" She observed, incredibly proud of her ability to piece the 'mystery' of Mark's sadness together, sitting back in her chair confidently, yet still concerned.

Mark didn't know how to reply. "I... we just had a bit of a fall out, that's all." Mark said, faking reassurance as best he could, but obviously not convincing Laurel.

"It must have been some fall out to last this long Mark." She joked, her smile straightening immediately when she realised that what she said had hurt Mark more than it had amused him.

"Okay, Jack hates me." He blurted out, making sure to keep his voice down to a gravelly whisper. "I did something terrible, and he hates me, and so does everyone else, and I deserve it." Mark took a deep breath as he studied Laurel's face, not being able to find any sign of anger or disgust, like he somehow expected. If anything, her features were softer, her eyes more comforting.

"Nobody deserves to be alone Mark." Laurel said convincingly, keeping her voice strong, and placing a hand on his shaking shoulder, trying her best to calm him down. "If you don't want this friendship to end between you and Jack, then you have to talk to him. You won't get shit from staring at him the whole class. If anything, at least pay attention to our work." She finished, gesturing extravagantly at the chalkboard, that the teacher had been writing on all lesson, and that Mark had never even noticed had any writing on it at all.

He looked to Laurel again, smiling for the first time in what seemed like forever. "Thank you, Laurel... That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all week." He said to her, earning nothing but a blush in return.

For the first time in a week and a half, he felt something other than the gut wrenching pain that his self hatred had brought. He felt inspired, energised and determined to make up for what he did. Somehow.

The brief spurt of optimism was short lasted, however, because as soon as he left the class, and the support he had got from his new personal mascot Laurel was gone, he realised that he couldn't do it.