Trust Your Instincts

-35- Don't Shut Me Out

  Mark looked down at his phone, his eyes once again going over the letters forming his unsent text to Jack.

 'Hey Jack, I don't wanna sound too crazy because we did just start dating, but I know you're lying to me about what you're doing tonight. I don't know why you don't want to see me, but if I've done anything to annoy you, I'm sorry.' It read.

 Mark sighed, discontented with the message he had spent about half an hour formulating. It looked too formal, it made him come across angrier than he was. Maybe he should just phone instead? This sort of situation might be better sorted out over spoken word.

 Mark exhaled loudly, unable to help himself, and held his finger down on the backspace, erasing all of his hard work. He went to his contact list, and stopped at Jack's contact, hesitating a few seconds before pressing the call icon.

 The phone rang, and rang, and eventually Mark was sent to voicemail. Yet another exhale escaped his lips. He decided to try again, but it was the same result.

 A third time seemed desperate, clingy. Mark began to wrack his brains, what could he have done to make the other man not want to talk to him? Did he offend him unintentionally? Jack had been acting distant since Monday, and although Mark tried to play it off as just a coincidence that they weren't spending as much time together as they had in the past, worry was beginning to set in.

 He was scared. What if Jack didn't like him anymore? What if this seemingly perfect relationship had ended before it even began?

 Mark sat on his bed, staring at the bare wall in front of him, not noticing when the room darkened with the setting of the sun, the once orange glow that radiated through was dulling miserably, until Mark was consumed by almost complete darkness, the few remaining rays of sunlight and the flickering on of the streetlights being his only source of light. 

 Mark tried his best to keep Jack off his mind, at least until he saw him tomorrow, or at least thats what he told himself. Something inside him told him that he didn't want to stop thinking of Jack. The voice inside was yelling at him to get up and get to the bottom of this right now. That was crazy though. Right?

 He was beginning to convince himself that it wasn't a bad idea though. If Jack was lying, then Mark would force him to explain himself without the distractions that school brings, and if he was telling the truth, well, everyone loves a study break.

 Don't be stupid Mark, he's your boyfriend, he'll be pleased to see you either way! He told himself, eradicating any last shred of self doubt as he headed downstairs and out the front door, not bothering to tell his dad where he was off to, as he seemed too entranced in tonight's episode of Family Feud anyway.

 Walking down the empty streets, Mark tried his best to push any fear or nervousness from his mind. If the roles were reversed, he wouldn't be mad at all if Jack came to visit uninvited, so why was Mark so anxious heading down the quietening streets.

 He strolled down the street that led to Jack's apartment, breathing in the icy air, which nipped at his cheeks, turning them a rosy shade of pink and making his nose slightly runny. He looked up at the cloudless night sky, that would explain why it was so cold tonight. He couldn't help but admire the twinkling stars overhead as his gaze shifted to the moon, which he stared at in wonder. I didn't know that tonight was the full moon, he thought, smiling innocently, as the thoughts of Jack being angry that he was paying a visit so late in the evening began to dissipate from his mind.

 He almost walked past Jack's building, as his eyes and mind were fixed solely on the moon. He had never really taken the time to admire the moon, as much as he loved the idea of stargazing, the opportunity never really presented itself. Even right now, bathed in the artificial glow of the streetlights that surrounded him, Mark knew that he wasn't going to be able to observe the full beauty that such a hobby could offer.