Trust Your Instincts

-56- Letters From a Friend

A/N Just a quick author's note to say that I'll explain the reason behind this chapter at the end if it confuses anyone at all! Hope you enjoy, I don't plan on making this chapter too long. :)

________

 Mark-

 I'm not really sure how to start these letters off, but I guess if you're reading this, then you've either been snooping around under my bed, or I'm dead. To be honest, I don't know which one would be worse haha.

 OK but seriously, if you are reading this, then something bad has happened, and my family has found the little box where I stored these letters, all four of them.

 I just wanna start by asking a favour, for lack of a better word. I know it's probably not going to change how you must be feeling right now, but I want you to promise me something. Promise me that you won't mourn me for too long. The last thing I want is for you guys to be upset, and me to be the reason. I want you to promise me that you will get through this with a smile, don't think of my death when you think of me, that's not the memory that I want to last in your mind.

 I know what I'm asking for is a lot, but I'm not gonna accept the fact that you're laying in bed crying or not going to school because of me. And I will know! Wherever I am, I'll be watching, and I'll personally kick your ass when you join me (hopefully in a long time!!) if I find out that you've broken your promise.

 It's not the end of the world!

 It sounds cliché but it feels right to say, that even from whatever afterlife I'm enduring right now, I will always support you and your choices.

 Heck, maybe I overvalued our friendship and you aren't as affected as my selfish ass is assuming you will be, though I hope I'm right, because God knows I'd struggle if I lost you.

 Anyway, enough about me.

 The main reason I'm writing this letter, is to thank you.

 I know we've only been friends for a few months, as of my last update in these letters, which, embarrassingly, I update quite often, but I really mean it when I say that you're one of the best friends that I ever made. Even now, I don't know how I've managed to live a normal life when you weren't sitting next to me in math or stealing Felix's dad's rum by my side.

 It really has been a fucking blessing to be able to say that I was your friend, because you are without a doubt one of the kindest, gentlest, most caring and compassionate guys I think I could ever meet, and (once again) I promise I'm not just paying you hollow compliments to try and validate our friendship... I truly feel this way, and I hope that I've managed to come across as half as unproblematic a friend to you as you so effortlessly became to me.

 You've never been anything but kind and supportive of me. Even when I turned my back on you out of bitterness, you never snapped at me, or disappointed me, or abandoned me like I did you. I didn't deserve your friendship. As far as I'm concerned, nobody is special enough to.

 All joking aside, I love you Mark. Since the first day you started at our school, you became like a brother to me, and I wouldn't change our relationship for the world. I can wholeheartedly say that you're one of the best friends I ever had, and I know for a fact that you and Jack will get your happily ever after, even if I'm not around to be part of it in person.

 There's one more thing I have to ask of you though, Mark. I know! I'm being a pest, but this is important.

 Take care of him.