Letting go

Chapter Twenty Six

                                                                                   *WARNING*

This chapter might trigger cutting feelings. I am in no way encouraging it. As someone who struggles with this I strongly hope you will never even think of cutting. Please, please read with caution.    

                                                                             Harper's pov

I woke up the next morning to the door bing slammed shut and voices booming at the top of their lungs.

"Why did you leave all of a sudden?" Someone yelled making me get out of bed and walk over to my shut door.

"Look Elle I had to do something. I'm lucky I'm even back this early," Another voice yelled back which belonged to none other than Jackson Reed.

I quietly opened the door and walked down the hall. I saw Elle and Jackson yelling back and forth between each other.

"Jackson you left her when she needed you most," She yelled making me wonder who they were talking about.

"I had to Elle. I need to clear my head then come back to Harper," He said making me walk further into the open area of the hallway.

"Wow how selfish can you get?" I asked grabbing their attention.

"Harper I can explain," Jackson started.

"No Jackson. You've already explained enough," I said holding up my hand for him to stop.

"Please Harper," He pleaded.

"No Jackson. I don't have time. Elle I have support group in an hour, can you drive me?" I asked ignoring Jackson completely.

"Support group?" Jackson asked making me sigh in annoyance.

"Yes Jackson. After you left I was diagnosed with traumatic depression and so I have to go to support group," I said turning to him.

"Yeah Harper I can take you," Elle said pulling me away from Jackson.

"I'll be in my room if you need me. Oh and Jackson I'll be out by tonight," I said before walking off to my room.

I went straight to the bathroom and steadied myself on the sink. Just the thought of what happened almost two months ago made me want to curl up into a little ball and die. I slowly regained my strength and decided to take a shower. I stripped down into my bare skin before getting in when the water was hot. I let the warm water stream down my body, not wanting to get out off this moment. After washing off I slowly got out before drying off and walking out of the bathroom. I threw on a pair of jeans and an oversized sweater. I slipped on my shoes before grabbing my knee brace. I tore the ligament that makes my legs so I have to go to physical therapy and use a crutch to more around. After grabbing all I needed I walked out of my room and into the living room.

"Elle I'm ready to go," I said getting her attention.

"Harper Jackson has to take you. Jay needs me now," She said with a sad look on her face.

"I'm so so sorry Harper. His mom is in the hospital. I'll talk to you later," She said kissing my head before walking out of the apartment.

"Jackson I need to go," I said waiting for him to get up.

"Coming," He said slipping on his shoes and helping me out the door.

He helped me to the elevator before hitting his car floor. Once we made it to his car he helped me in then got in himself. We drove in silence for the most of the way till he broke it.

"So how have you been?" He asked awkwardly.

"Great after getting kidnapped and abused before getting shot. Yeah i've been just peachy Jackson," I said sarcastically.

"I mean like emotionally," He said serially.

"Jackson you left without a trace for two weeks. I need you when I was in the hospital. You weren't even there when I woke up. Truthfully I've been a wreck but why would you care," I said sparking anger in him.

"GOD HARPER> DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND,I LOVE YOU OF COURSE I CARE," He yelled making me jump back.

"Harper I'm sorry," Jackson said after a while of silence.

"Right here is fine," I said as he pulled into a spot.

"Harper wait," He said with regret dripping for his words.

"Don't worry about picking me up," I snapped before walking towards the building.

I was too hurt to talk to him again today. Without him here is hard but what can I do if he doesn't want to be in my life. I walked in the building and into where the meeting was being held. About an hour later I limped out of the building feeling even more depressed than before. I slowly hobbled down the sidewalk and towards the bus stop. Once the bus picked me up I sat alone, cold, tired, and wishing I could be home under my warm covers. After a while I was dropped off at the apartment building before I walked up the three flights of stairs. When I made it to our apartment I unlocked the door and made my way up to my room. I passed Jackson but decided to ignore him. I shut the door and walked into the bathroom for my only relief in this messed up world. I pulled open my top drawer and pulled out my razor blade. I walked back into my bedroom and sat down on my floor in front of my windows. I opened them up to the cold January breeze before gently gliding the blade across my soft skin. The pain of the cut drew my mind away from all the things running through it. All of a sudden there was a soft knock on my door.

"Who is it?" I yelled out as the blood dripped on my floor.

"It's Jackson. I was hoping we could talk," JAckson said from outside the door.

"Umm not right now Jackson," I said with fear dripping from my voice.

"Harper are you okay?" He asked while trying to open the locked door.

"Jackson it's nothing. We can talk later. If I make it that long," I whispered the last part a little too loud.

"Harper what are you doing?" He asked getting more hard with the banging on the door.

"Jackson this is goodbye. I'm not going to be here tomorrow," I said slitting my wrists more along with my legs.

"Harper please, let me in," jackson pleaded.

"I'm sorry jackson, but i'm too broken. Good bye," I said before I slit the last part of skin before falling to the ground.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Letting Go is coming to a close quickly and I'm sad to see it come to an end. This book has pushed me to wits end, but no matter what I will always look back and think Yeah I wrote this and I'm proud of it. I love you all and hope you all enjoy the last few chapters.