House MD Fanfiction

Mob Rules: Coming Out

Hilson, Smut, 1,927 words
By: gracefultree

Chapter 1

House, I’m gay.

And I'm bi. Big deal. Do you want Chinese?

Did you hear what I just said? 

You're gay. I know. Chinese? 

House!

What? 

You don't have anything to say about that?

No. 

What do you mean, no?

No, I don't have anything to say. You're gay, I already knew. Are you done?

This is a big deal! This is- 

Oh, God, does this mean we have to talk about feelings? Ok. I'll start. Jimmy, when did you first know you were gay? No, wait, don't tell me! You've always known. 

This isn't a joke, House. 

I know. But it's not a big deal, either. You're gay. I don't care. You can have sex with men, women, and sheep, for all I care. Though, admittedly, I'd make fun of the sheep. But back to your point. You're taking the opportunity of a very closeted gay mobster to come out to me. It was bound to happen one of these days. Frankly, I'm surprised it only took you 13 years. I figured you'd wait for lucky 15. 

You knew? You know? You've known as long as we've known each other and you haven't said anything? You were my best man at two of my weddings! You never said anything! 

Not my place. 

You value the truth above all else! Why wouldn't you - 

You weren't out to yourself. Or ready to be out to anyone else. Believe it or not, but sometimes I think before I say things. 

How did you - ?

Does it matter? You're still my friend. 

But - But -

So, Chinese is a no? How about pizza?

I don’t know what to say.

Good. I’m ordering.

I don’t want pizza.

Not gay enough for you? What about that girly vegetarian vietnamese stuff you forced me to eat last month?

No! No, that was awful. I don’t even know why I wanted to try it.

That leaves us with my original question. Chinese?

Yeah, sure, whatever. No steak.

Don’t worry, I haven’t been slipping Male Flame into your coffee. And, no, you don’t have that genetic marker, anyway. I checked.

That’s not even funny! He could have died.

You’re the one who said he didn’t want steak.

You’re an asshole.

Very funny. Is this when you tell me you’re secretly in love with me? Because I’ve known that for years, too.

Wha-

Quit giving me that look. I’ve had you figured out for a long time.

And, what? Are going to do anything about it?

Do anything? You mean, like offer to suck your cock? Offer to bend over? Sure, why not? Which do you want first? Or I could fuck you. That might be better for someone just coming out. You wouldn’t have to think as much.