House MD Fanfiction

Evasion

Hilson, smut, 5040 words
By: Nemesis (Nems)

Dr. House would like to take this time and space to remind you that "puppies shouldn't be kicked, Chase is a whore, and reviews are love." Dr. Wilson would like to add, "Favorite lines are much appreciated, I'm told." Nems likes reviews, they keep him writing lots and lots!

“Fine. I’ll tell you,” Wilson announced as he entered House’s office. For a week, he’d been avoiding telling House why he’d broken up with Amber.

“You’ll tell me how my patient has cancer when we can’t find a single tumor anywhere but he has paraneoplastic syndrome? I’m all ears. Well, actually, very little of me is actually ear, most of me is…”

“House, shut up. And anyway, you know that some people can have paraneoplastic without a tumor.”

“12%,” House nodded. “No cure, either. Anyway, I’ve put him on IVIG. So, what will you tell me?”

“Why I’ve broken up with Amber.”

“Because she really is a Cut-Throat Bitch?”

“Because I don’t want the watered-down version anymore.” With that, Wilson turned and left again, leaving House gaping after him.

Well. Apparently Wilson finally got it. House smiled to himself. He’d been waiting… hm… ever since three months after Stacy left. So seven, no, eight years now. 

Wilson finally figured it out. And apparently, he also felt the same. 

***

“Give any thought to what I said earlier?” Wilson asked in the cafeteria. They were moving along the line together, House reaching for the greasiest possible food and Wilson choosing slightly more sensibly. 

“Hm… not really. Cracked the case, though. He forget to mention that he used to be a she. Ovarian cancer. He didn’t have a radical hysterectomy when he changed genders. Ovaries remained, became cancerous. All yours now, Boy Wonder Oncologist.”

“Damn. How advanced?” Wilson snagged two chocolate pudding cups, knowing that House would steal one. Probably when he wasn’t looking. 

“Pine box stage,” House answered. “Three months, tops, I’d say, but then again, what do I know? I’m just a lowly infectious disease guy.”

“Oh, right, just a simple country doctor,” Wilson answered, bumping House slightly (on his good side) accidentally-on-purpose. House didn’t react. Wilson sighed heavily. “I expect the referral’s on my desk already?”

House shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t do paperwork. I gave it to Thirteen.”

“You do realize you can’t always make the one female intern do your paperwork?”

House shrugged again. “Sometimes I get Kutner to do it. And Foreman is always fun to torture with it. Payback’s a bitch.”

“Ever think of inflicting payback on me?”

“You don’t have any birth control pills I can substitute with Tylenol,” House answered, seemingly oblivious. He limped past the cashier, and Wilson reached for his wallet with a roll of his eyes.

***

“Cuddy looking for you?” Wilson asked as House ducked into his office. 

“Nope. The ducklings are. I’m hiding from them.”

“Why?”

House rolled his eyes and laid down on Wilson’s couch. “Because they’re annoying. Demanding things from me. What do they take me for?”