House MD Fanfiction

Curried Crab

Hilson, birthday!smut, 3032 words
By: Dark_Dreymer

“Why do we have to go out again?” House moaned, struggling as Wilson tried to button his shirt all the way to the top.
“Because it’s your birthday and we’re meant to be celebrating,” Wilson replied, sounding aggravated.
“So why can’t we just drink some beer, watch some TV and then grope each other on the couch until we pass out.”
“Because celebrations usually include doing something different and exciting and we do that at least once a week,” Wilson said, still struggling to get House to wear the shirt properly.
House grinned and pulled Wilson against him, his lips seeking Wilson’s earlobes (Wilson loved it when House did that), but his advances were halted by Wilson’s palm.
“Don’t think you’re distracting me that easily,” Wilson said, fixing House with his patented glare.
House sighed and realized that Wilson wouldn’t be stopped, his mind was made up and they were going to have to go out. Still there was no reason why House would have to go out practically choking to death because the collar of his shirt was so tight.

After another minute of attempting to make House button his shirt, Wilson pulled away cursing under his breath.
“You know what, forget it,” Wilson said, trying to regain his usual calm. “It doesn’t matter anyway.”
House smirked, inwardly congratulating himself for his victory over Wilson.

Wilson looked down at his watch, “We should get going.”
“So wherever we’re going has a starting time,” House said. “That narrows down the choices.”
“Are you still trying to guess where we’re going?” Wilson muttered, slightly exasperated by House’s behavior.
“You know me, can’t resist a puzzle,” House said grinning.
Wilson thought this through in his head, if House was busily trying to figure out where they were going then he would either bug Wilson for the whole journey or be quietly contemplating the things he had deduced, Wilson prayed it would be the second.
Wilson let a small smile tug at his lips before pulling open the front door to the apartment and motioning towards it with his hand.

*

The peace and quiet of the car journey lasted all of five minutes. House had been sat in the passenger seat quietly thinking, as Wilson had hoped he would, and pressing the button so that the window moved up and down. They had just stopped at a set of traffic lights when House turned to Wilson and triumphantly stated: “We’re going to a play.”

Wilson had a quick debate in his head as to how to answer this. Honesty? If House knew he was right he might be smugly quiet for the rest of the journey. Lying? Well, once they arrived it would be obvious and House would be annoyed and slightly hurt.
“Yeah.” Wilson sighed, sounding slightly deflated that House had unraveled the mystery so soon.
“I seem to remember us having a discussion about why people go to see plays,” House said. “Do you remember?”
“Of course,” Wilson said. “You claim that the only reason a guy ever goes to a play is because he’s being dragged there by a woman who he wants to sleep with.”
“Exactly.”
“I take it I’m the woman in this case.”
“Right again. So do you think we could skip the play and get right to the sex?”
Wilson gave House a quick ‘I am not amused’ look, before returning his gaze to the road.
“I take it that’s a ‘no’?” House muttered.
“That’s a ‘no’,” Wilson confirmed.

*

Wilson parked the car only a block away from the theatre so that House wouldn’t have too far to walk.
“If it’s a musical, I’m going home right away,” House grumbled as they walked the last block to the theatre. Wilson didn’t answer, he’d learnt long ago that sometimes it was better not to respond when House started complaining.

They rounded a corner and suddenly the theatre was right in front of them. There was a large poster across the front of the theatre, it was reasonably plain, just a black background with ‘WE WILL ROCK YOU’ written across it in white.
Wilson looked over at House, his face was caught in a momentary look of joy before he rearranged his features into his usual neutral gaze and looked at Wilson.
“We’re going to see ‘We Will Rock You’, right?” He asked.
Wilson nodded.
“Okay,” House said.
Wilson knew that this was the closest House would get to saying that maybe Wilson had actually found a play that House may enjoy.