House MD Fanfiction

Not Just A Jerk

Hilson, Autism, 3677 words
By: deductress

Chapter 1:

I'm going to read you something. "Asperger Syndrome is a mild and rare form of Autism. It's typically characterized by difficulty establishing friendships and playing with peers, trouble accepting conventional social rules and they dislike any change in setting or routine." Or broadloom. It doesn't say that last part, but you get my point.

House doesn't have Asperger's. The diagnosis is much simpler, he's a jerk.

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At twelve years of age, Gregory House made the connection that his father wasn’t his biological father – the relief he felt at that realisation was almost overwhelming. Discovering such a massive insight about himself and his life felt almost freeing, if not only just adding another piece to the puzzle that was Gregory House.

At fifteen, Gregory House diagnosed himself with autism, high-functioning to be specific. He’d always known he could be defined as “odd”, “weird”, “unusual”, but had always known there was more to it. In the past he’d been berated by his mother for his lack of empathy when other people were hurt, when people fell down in pain – he didn’t feel worry or care, no, all he saw was a puzzle; how do I fix this? He discovered from a young age he struggled to follow social conventions, basic things like words with double-meanings, niceties, facial expressions and body language, other things too; such as when and when not to talk - not to push people when they touched you (even though it felt horrible, and why did everyone insist on hugging him or holding his hand so much? That was one of his father’s only redeeming qualities – no touching, it wasn’t manly.)

Gregory also found himself bothered acutely by sensory issues, lights being too bright, noises being too loud, streets being too busy, tastes being too strong, temperatures being too extreme, fabrics feeling too wrong… The one and only time Gregory had reacted to being overstimulated, by moaning and rocking back and forth clutching his head, had been the first time his father had frogmarched him outside and dunked him in an ice bath in the middle of a winter’s evening. He’d never let himself show any reaction to sensory stimulation after that.

As Gregory grew older, he saw the way mentally/psychologically disabled people were treated; they were pitied, sometimes gawked at like zoo animals, people would walk on eggshells around them – too frightened to say or do the wrong thing should it set off an attack of some sort. His father considered them worthless and felt no shame at loudly announcing the fact, “What’s the point in them being alive if they’re not going to do anything with their lives? They should be left to die. Let the real men live.” It was in that moment Gregory made a promise to himself to never reveal his disorder, nor to let anyone else attempt to diagnose him.

By seventeen years of age, Gregory had gained the title of “School Jerk” – very few liked him, he was known to tear you to shreds with his vicious biting belittling words in a matter of moments if you so much as looked at him the wrong way. Gregory found it was much simpler to keep people from touching him, or crowding him if he insulted them, (or their mothers). He also discovered that while everyone thought he was a cold, heartless jerk – nobody considered any other reason for his actions; nobody felt the need to pry any further than what was on the surface. Nobody cared. Such a result was preferred as far as he could see it.

At twenty-three, Gregory was living a life of alcohol, sex and education – it was wonderful. The sensory play alcohol delivered to him, along with the sex (with no frustrating social obligations or contracts) made him feel relaxed and calmed, meanwhile his advanced medical education kept his brain functioning – challenging him on a daily basis as he moved into the field of diagnostics.