The Littlest Things

SWBL

She's standing by the window. It's been more than five hours since she last opened Instagram, and while she likes to stay unbothered, she can't help but feel a bit down as she remembers some comments that, well, have gone a bit overboard.

"Mukhang buntis."
"Parang 12 years old body."
"Nag beach lang my slayer OTP, gagayahin na rin nila?"
"Insecure."
"Di bagay mag bikini."

Sometimes, things get a little bit too much.

In her light blue dress, she opens the curtains, closes her eyes, and lets the chill of the night engulf her. Just for a moment. Just for her to get back to not caring at all. Just for her stubborn heart to stop hurting. She breathes in and breathes out, and after a while, after a good breeze rolls in, she feels alright. Somehow.

She hears the door open and close, and she senses him walking towards her. A hand touches her waist from the back and pinches a bit, before his arms snake around her and he lets his chin rest on her shoulder. She opens her eyes.

"Mahal pala magpa-braid," he comments before chuckling and it makes her smile a little.

"Are you happy?" she asks him. Even though she knows him enough now to know that he is.

"Syempre. Dream ko to, no. Maging Bob Marley man lang bago tayo pagbawalan ulit." He plants a kiss between her shoulder and neck. "Thanks for letting me do this, love." He says in his sweetest voice and this time it makes her laugh.

"Nagpa-cute ka pa dyan. I won't be able to stop you naman e."

"Hindi a. Kapag sinabi mong wag ko gawin, hindi ko naman gagawin e."

She rolls her eyes at that, then she reaches out to touch his face. "Sus. Happiness mo yan e. Of course, I'll support you."

They go quiet for a while. He hugs her tighter as she leans her back against his chest.

"Hindi ka okay," he suddenly says and it's not even a question. He just knows.

"I'm okay kaya. I won't let things like that ruin my mood, no," she lies and he sees right through it.

"Mmm-hmm. Really?"

She doesn't answer. He untangles himself from her and holds her hand, squeezing it gently, and then he leads her to their bed. One step. Two steps. Then he scoops her up, like a baby, or like a groom to his bride, and he settles her on the bed. He lies down beside her.

In the soft yellow light of their room in an island she fondly calls a "paradise," she turns towards him to properly look at his hair. It's sort of horrible and weird and different, but it's kind of cute, honestly, when he's grinning at her like a happy kid. She thinks she likes to make some more of his dreams come true. In that moment, as she looks at him and his what-the-hell braided hair, she swears she's never felt more in love.

"Don't be sad," he tells her before closing the gap between them and kissing her forehead.

"I'm not sad. I'm trying to decide whether I like your hair or not."

"Di na yun importante. We'll get over it next week."

Then he changes the topic. "Anong sabi ng mga perpekto mong bashers?"

"Nothing. Just ganito, ganyan. Nothing important. Or if you really want to know, why don't you just check Instagram na lang?"

He makes a face. "What's Instagram? I don't know Instagram. Nakakain yun?"

She slaps his arm lightly, giggling. He gets her hand and kisses her palm. "Sinabi sa'kin ni Dom saka tinext ako ni Mama," he admits.

She touches his ear and absent-mindedly plays with it a bit, too embarrassed to say what's on her mind. But she says it anyway. "Someone said I keep on having sex with you kaya lalo raw akong sakang."

He looks at her hard, and she sees a flash of anger in his eyes, but for a while he doesn't say anything.

"Someone said I'm buntis because that's all you ever want from me," she continues.

"Delete mo na nga yang Instagram na yan," he finally speaks, and she's not sure if he's mad or he's joking. "Ano bang alam nila?" he says while pulling her closer to hug her. "Actually, alam nila na ginagawa natin yun so I guess hindi pa sila ganun katanga."

Being embraced by him feels nice, she thinks. So she lets herself melt into him. But he's breathing hard, obviously affected, obviously hurting for her, so she rubs his back while they hug and she lets her hand touch his hair, too. It doesn't feel weird at all.

All of a sudden, he rolls them over and he's on top of her, but he uses his arms to support himself so he doesn't crush her. He kisses her on the lips before saying, "Alam mo...wala sila nito." Then he kisses her neck. "Wala sila nito." He slides down her dress and kisses her chest. "Wala sila nito." He kisses the soft flesh around her navel. "Wala sila nito." He slides down her dress further and kisses both sides of her hips. "At lalong-lalong wala sila nito." He takes off her dress and kisses her legs. Then he looks at her with reverence. "Wala sila niyan. At kahit meron pa sila niyan, wala akong pakialam. Kasi yung sayo ang mahal ko. Lahat ng parte na bumubuo sayo at ang kabuuan mo."

She's lying almost naked right before his eyes but she feels clothed. With love. With worship, even. With things that might be a little too much but feel just right. And they comfort her and make her feel enough.

She smiles at him, and words fail her. But she says the first thing that comes to mind. Unguarded. Unfiltered.

"I kinda wanna be truly pregnant right now."

He laughs. He knows she doesn't mean it.

She kind of thinks she means it. But she doesn't tell him.

They kiss again with the windows open and the sea breeze coming in, trying not to make noises so his family wouldn't hear. They try to forget the world for a moment. People can say all the wrong things about them. But inside their room, nothing is ever sinful and no one will ever judge and instead of being shamed, she will be loved.

Author's Note: Unedited. Title pa lang e. Hahaha. Hinabol lang bago matulog. Can't sleep na di ko nasusulat. I might make it better. I might not. But please vote & comment if you like. And maybe if you have nothing to read, there's Between the Stars and Waves so ayun. :)