Santas Sack (complete)

Sleigh rides, family, and happy endings

As they were headed up to Blizzard frank and Gerard were talking just getting to know each other because the sleigh had crappy Christmas music (but frank had plans to change that) and frank really couldn't believe how much they had in common. He could imagine spending evenings cuddled up with snacks, watching crappy horror movies. Maybe listening to some music in front of the fire. Maybe sneaking down to catch a punk show. Gerard also told him he could still do the whole band thing and he couldn't wait to set up the first punk show Blizzard had ever seen but Gerard assured him the elves would love it! Gerard also wanted to put him on canvas and in his comic Umbrella Academy, he was shocked when he found out Gerard wrote it because he was a fan.

Then he asked one of the questions he was dying to know because it had always bugged him.

"So where does the whole coal thing come from" He asked? Gerards cheeks got red and he hesitated, but then just told the truth. "So the original Santa said if kids were gonna act like little shits he'd give them some and so he did"  He said.
Franks eyes bulged and he kinda wanted to wash his hands because ew "Let me get this straight You mean you've been shitting in my stocking all these years!" Frank cried shock on his face. Gerard laughed so hard he almost lost control of the sleigh soon he calmed down and wiped the tears off his cheeks, but he was still chuckling as he said "no that was my dad but don't be upset you already paid him back."

"Paid him back how do you mean" Frank asked confused. "He said you almost broke his nose. He said he didn't know an 8 yr old could hit that hard.  He also told me to never piss you off because you have a strong right hook." Gerard replied. "Wait, so that really was your dad, " he groaned because he was gonna be meeting him soon. "Hope he doesn't hold a grudge" frank mumbled "its gonna be fine Frankie I promise" Gerard reassured him.

So basically you guys shit coal, is it all the time do we need to add fiber to your diet" he snickered. "Can you stop or is it just for Christmas?" He asked hopefully. Gerard just chuckled "I've never done it and am not looking forward to that part of things. But that's how it's done because I can't lug all that coal around. Besides the reindeer would refuse to pull the sleigh, but the milk and cookies help a lot, at least that's what  my dad told me!" He added with a grin.

Frank couldn't help looking at how beautiful Gerard was most guys are described as handsome, but beautiful was the word that came to mind every time he looked at Gerard and that brought the next question to his mind. "Hay Gerard what was all that talk about me being the father of your children and moms talk about making grandbabys I got the feeling it wasn't about adoption?" He asked kinda nervous.

Gerard blushed to his roots "oh that.. No, actually.. Well, you see it's like this.. What you have to understand is we aren't human and you're only half human and well we carry the babies girls don't. It's also the reason neither of us have ever wanted anyone else. It's part of our DNA we have magical sperm which is why we don't feel the need for sex until we meet our mate and become adults. We can carry the baby's because like being Santa comes from the father so does the ability to have baby's and your dad was human. Frank kinda nodded "Cool I have super sperm" he said with a grin.

His smile quickly vanished once Gerard told him they were getting ready to land. Gerard's Gramma was there to meet them along with everyone else. Let's just say franks a celebrity and very infamous. He didn't disappoint, especially when he turned to Gerard's mom and dad and without missing a beat kinda chuckled and said "its nice to meet you, sir sorry about your nose and is that maple fudge I smell. Let's just say it's a good thing Elena had some smelling salts in her front pocket.

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Two years later and not much has changed. By now it's kind of tradition for frank to pull some stunt. This year he got the elf decorators to do the whole house, the tree, and everything in Halloween decor before Donna and Don complained. Elena just chuckled and shook her head. Gerard thought it was brilliant and hilarious!

Although the coal in the stocking isn't happening anymore, at least not real coal (not that Gerard minds, it was one of the things he hadn't been looking forward to). After Frank threatened to castrate Gerard he happily agreed. So the kitchen came up with a nice candy coal for the kids who might not be quite as sweet as they should be. It tastes like licorice and turns the teeth and mouth black. Gerard couldn't resist filling franks stocking full of it! Gerards dad thought it was brilliant and had a new respect for his son in law. He even stopped twitching every time Frank talked because he had a habit of waving his hands around.

Frank had upgrades put on the sleigh to. It now blasts all Franks favorite music instead of standard Christmas crap. It also has a coffee machine that Frank had installed as a surprise for Gerard. The sled also has cruise control and fully reclining seats because he is a newlywed and who given half the chance wouldn't wanna make love to their husband anytime they got the chance! Screw the mile high club they got nothing on him and Gerard! The glove compartment holds some of franks favorite props and toys, what can he say he's a dirty little elf.

Frank even has a whole kit in the sleigh for any four legged baby's they find, complete with bottles and heated blankets. He also had a teleportation device installed so they can send any puppy's or kittens they find to the waiting elves for immediate care and prepping to put under Christmas trees for good little kids (after oking it with the parents of course). The ones who are to sick or have other needs stay in the blizzard animal hospital. Frank has final say on what happens to them all.

Sweetpea also has the time of her life chasing the Christmas mice and her siblings. So far the Iero-Ways have 29,736,450 dogs and cats who they have found homes for. Another 500 have been brought home to the North Pole where they were adopted by the elves or came to live with Frank and Gerard. It's a passion of Franks that Gerard very much supports and loves.

Frank and Gerard had a meeting with all the retailers who were putting Christmas stuff out at Halloween. They tried to get them to push it back till just before thanksgiving because of Black Friday but quit a few declined. They are on the naughty list and gramma says they should come around in another two years but it's a work in progress.

Frank, James, and Ed from his old band are still together, but changed the name to death spells and only put out one album with minor touring. They have plans for the future, it kinda helps that they are also from the North Pole. James works in many different departments up there. Ed works in the music department and fixes up instruments for kids on the nice list. They have been part of both of his and Gerards lives from the beginning.

Soon Frank and Gerard will be welcoming their own bundle of Christmas joy into the family. Gerard is expecting in 2 months and him and frank have talked about how many kids they will have. Gerard finally asked do you wanna ask fate frank nodded yes, so they called his gramma. She told them she saw four little ones and then her face got really pale and she changed the subject. No matter how much they asked, she wouldn't discuss it further, except to tell them 4 was enough, but after that every once in a while they would catch her mumbling about being run over by a reindeer.