My Baby Girl

XI. longing

My daughter......where are you?

No one can tell us where exactly my daughter is...

Nasan na yung anak ko?

Wala akong kwentang ina, hindi ko sya binantayan ng maayos, this was my fault napaka pabaya kong ina, napaka wala akong kwentang tao.

Ano ba ang naging kasalanan ko at nangyayari sakin lahat ng bagay na to? What?!

Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko para mahanap si Cloudie, nagawa ko na lahat ng paraan ko to find her but theres no lead about her kung nasan sya.

Mababaliw na ko.

Where are you my Cloudie?...asan ka na baby mommy's longing for you..

"Ma'am Ceven bumaba na daw ho kayo at kumain sabi ng mommy ninyo."

"No I'm full."

"A-ah okay ma'am p-pero di pa po kayo kumakain simula kaha-

"Please Delia."

"Okay po."

I don't feel like eating now a days and tanging gusto ko lang ay makita si Cloudie and thats all.
I don't want to do anything else if she's lost like this.

Kamusta na kaya sya? Is she okay? Sana nasa magandang kamay sya ngayon and I hope soon maibalik na sya sakin dahil mababaliw ako kung hindi ko na sya makikita.

"You woman! Don't act like ikaw lang ang nawalan dito! Celen kami din nawalan ng apo! So please don't be like that daughter don't be weak instead be strong and continue to find her!"-dad shout at me.
Nabigla naman ako dahil bigla na lamang sya sumolpot sa kwarto ko.

Galit syang lumapit saakin, hinawakan ako sa dalawang braso at niyogyog ako.

"Don't be weak you woman dahil ikaw ang may kasàlan din nito."- gigil na sabi ni dad.

What did he said?

Tumulo naman ang mga marahas na mga luha ko.

Guess what?

Ako nanaman.

I think ako naman talaga.

"I know dad this is all my fault! Kung bakit ganito ang naging buhay ko! Then so what kung kasalanan ko?! Sanay naman ako na ako lagi ang may kasalanan ng lahat ng maling nangyayare sa pamilya natin right?! You put all the blame to me! Ikinakabit nyo sa akin lahat ng kamalasang nangyayare."-
I was so crying and bursting all my pain but dad just looking at me pist, dun ako tumiklop ng unti. Napa tungo nalang ako. He is still my dad after all.

But I want to burst all so I've continue to speak kahit ganun.

"Kuya's death. It was my fault right dad? I know it was all dad I know."-nag patuloy ako sa pag iyak.

Sa sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman ko ngayon I'm not use to cry loud but to cry silent.

"I know dad. I.........know....."

"Please put all the blame on me please.. .....Ate's death, maybe my fault too......maybe....mine...too..! And now Cloudie's lost.........its my fault too dad! Its my fault too! I was born so sinful! Why I was born sinful! Why?! All my life I'm so unwanted!. Bukod tangi talaga ako sa lahat I feel so unlove!"

"Kayo dad? Puro nalang ang mga mali ko ang nakikita nyo. Why dad? Ano bang nagawa ko sa inyo na hindi ko alam? Say it now para mapagbayaran ko pa. Sayang naman kung hindi ko mapagsisihan baka ikalugi ng kumpanya n-

A huge slap done me.

I meet the floor with that. Sobrang lakas ng dumapong kamay saakin pero parang hindi yung ang naramdaman kong sakit not the physical one but the one that makes my heart ache which is my emotions.

Its been always like this.

Do I deserve this?

Pinilot kong tumayo sa gitna ng aking pag-iyak habang sapo ko ang pisnging sinampal ng daddy.....

You're too cruel to me dad but I didn't want to hate you because you're my dad......

You're my dad.

I look at him, I didn't see anything but still my dad who hates me so much.

Hindi tumigil ang mga luhang patuloy na pumapatak at nagiging simbolo ng lahat ng sakit na nararanasan ko ngayon. Its been so hurtful days to me, nawawala pa ang anak ko ànd I don't kbow how to find her.

Plus, my family.

Natatawa ako sa sarili ko.

May pamilya pa pala ako?. I don't think so.

I think they cursed me so much forever kaya nagiging ganito ang buhay ko.

I was never been totally happy after all this years.

Naging masaya lang siguro ako when Cloudie finally came to me, that day naging masaya ako...

Kahit papaano

----

°°hurtful days po muna ng bida natin.. Medyo naawa din ako sa character ni Celen eh kase unwanted sya dito pero don't worry guys darating din ang chapter na magiging totally free na si Celen sa lahat ng pain..

Hayyys by the way salamat sa mga patuloy na support sa mga stories ko keep reading and voting guys wag kayong mahiya! Hahahaha

Thanks din pala sa lahat dahil last week lang kahit papaano nag #25 po ang A NIGHT WITH MY BOSS na story ko sa ROMANCE!!! THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO MUCH GUYSS 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

CIÀO!!😇