Excerpt From The Book I Poured My Heart On

Living Nightmare (#6)

Dear Mama,

I know you tried your best. I felt it. I can tell your exhausted in life by the way you glance at me. I can feel your regret every time you recognize the color of my eyes.

I'm sorry. For all the wrong things I brought in your life, I'm sorry. I know how much you want to run away but you just cant. You are caged in a responsibility you never imagined to bear earlier than planned. You are forced to hide in the dark until nine months go by. You need to feel the need to take care of someone you don't wish to have.

Mama, i know you always cry. I know it happened sixteen years ago when your worst nightmare came to life but still the pain of seeing the shade of my hair tortures you.

I grew up wondering why you were never like my friend's mother. I grew up watching you enter the door with tired and lifeless eyes with a forced smile welcoming me. I grew up seeing you tear everytime I catch you steal a glance of me. I grew up trying to feel the comfort i never found in you.

Mama... I'm sorry.

I know how much you want to be happy--i, too! I want to see you smile, the kind of smile you have in your pictures. I want to see that glow in your eyes, the kind of bloom you have when i saw a picture of you staring at him.

God knows how much I want to witness you live... but i guess I won't.

Mama, I love you. I always whisper it as you sleep. I hope you heard them because today--and for the coming days--you won't anymore.

Mama... I'm setting you free. From the burdens you don't deserve to carry. I'm setting you free from your worst nightmare.

From,
His Daughter