Excerpt From The Book I Poured My Heart On

What Matters (#7)

'I keep things.
I treasure memories.
And maybe that's the reason why I haven't found myself.'

My friends often label me as someone that is too sentimental. They were amazed by the concept of someone who remembers moments like breathing rather than lectures in school. I can narrate every memory we had like it just happened yesterday. We would laugh at it and sometimes be embarrassed by how we acted crazily.

Not only that, I keep everything they gave me. The keychains, stationeries, letters and whatnots. They would even be surprised that I have kept something for years and that made me them feel special.

Despite the crystal clear memories I have in store and how they viewed this as an awesome ability--i want to get rid of this so badly. I've been wanting to be as forgetful as one can be. I don't want to be the same person anymore.

I don't want to be the girl who gets too attached over the things they left me.
I don't want to be the girl who is slowly bleeding as she keeps on reminiscing.
I don't want to be the girl who can't let go of the memories that is supposed to be too irrelevant to be remembered.
I don't want to be the girl who cling unto past promises that was long gone and forgotten by those who 'swore' them.
I don't want to be the girl who can't let go of the people who stabbed her, broke her, killed her uncountable times and left her hanging.
I don't want to be the girl who already ran out of love to give because she can't unlove those who deserved to be.
I don't want to be the girl who's living the yesterday life.
I don't want to be the girl who can't move forward.
I don't want to be the girl who can't move on---
who doesn't want to move on... yet.

My friends labelled me as the "sentimental lady" of the group. They adored it so much. It was amazing for them--a gift even. Even if they don't know a single thing about the hopes I keep praying. They don't know how much I want to stop this addiction.They don't know how much I want to forget.

But it's okay right? I mean, to be like this. To be someone who finds it hard to forget and let go. Who keep things and treasure memories even if its too much for my own good because after all,

They feel special and that's all that matters.