Excerpt From The Book I Poured My Heart On

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It feels surreal, hearing you say those things.
You may not know but you've unlocked so many doors i happen to bind with magic spells made by my broken heart. You may not know but you made it possible for someone so pale to grow colors. You may not know but you slowly injected life in me--in my cold lifeless body.
--and it's scaring the hell out of me.

Seeing you happy scares me. Seeing you smile scares me. Seeing the glow in your eyes scares me. That blush on your cheeks terrifies me and when you closed your eyes while securing me in an embrace? Oh God! Oh good God knows how much it's making me anxious. I want to run away and never look back. I want to just disappear or perhaps i can pull off a perfect crime just so you won't fall for me! I want so bad to undo everything because i know...i know why you're happy. I know. I know it's me. It's all because of me.

You want to fix me.
And it charged you your own life.
Because you love me.
But didn't you know?
I am not worth it.

I can never love you the way you always believe i will.
You shouldn't have glanced my way.
You shouldn't have stared at me and fell in love with my brokenness.

You shouldn't have... fixed someone who sees you differently
For all the love you faithfully gave me,
Please know that it's forever etched in my heart,
I owe you my life
... friend.

Photo by: Agnes Cecille