She Wouldn't Say Goodbye. (Guns N' Roses)

Thirty Eight

-The next day-

-Kat-

Somehow both Izzy and I made it home last night. Considering the amounts of alcohol we both drank. He was gone all morning, doing a paper route for extra money. I assume he found something else to do afterward, considering I didn't see him at all that day.

At around eight, I left for work. I got ready in the back while another dancer Missy was on the main stage dancing to Aerosmith. All the girls got breaks between dancing. We tried to get as many guys as we could to ask for private sessions, to buy us drinks or give us extra tips. Which when you're handling a bunch a drunk, horny guys it isn't that hard to get what you want.

My shift that night lasted until two am. After tipping the DJ for playing my songs, and giving the club mother five dollars. I started back towards the bus route to get home. Even though I still had all my makeup on, I was wearing a long coat and had thrown a tee shirt and leather pants over my lingerie. I carried a bag with me, that held my makeup and some other costume stuff.

"Hey." I turned around checking if someone was talking to me, scanning the half full parking lot of the club. I began walking faster assuming it was some creep. "Kat." I heard a car door slam and someone began crossing the pavement. I turned around watching a recognizable figure walking my way. Holding a cigarette between their fingers and as soon as they brought the smoke up to take a puff, I knew it was Izzy.

I was caught in the act, so to speak. "Fancy seeing you here?" He smirked, blowing out a plume of smoke. "How come?" I held onto my bag tightly. "Eh, you seem, so... Innocent, I guess." "Piss off." "I don't mean it offensively. How long have you been dancin'?"

"Not long. We needed the money, Iz." He shrugged, "Why did you try to hide it from everyone?" "I don't know, I guess- I thought it would piss you guys off." "I would have felt better about the whole thing, knowing where you were. The streets are rough Kat. You're walking alone not even bothering to let someone know where you are?"

"I didn't think it was a big deal." I defended. Izzy threw his cigarette to the ground with excessive force.

"Well, it is a big deal. What if you would have ended up dead, huh? Then what, you're a beautiful girl, walking the streets alone at two in the morning." Izzy ran a hand through his hair, before rubbing his eye roughly. "Thanks, Izzy. But I don't need a lecture. You know now, so what're you going to do, come sit in the fucking parking lot while I work?" "I'm not lecturing you, I'm telling you. And no- I won't sit in the 'fucking parking lot' but I want everyone in that building, all the fucking scumbags that do come watch you to know you're unavailable." He seethed, looking at me dead in the eyes. I was confused about what he even meant, unavailable? "What are you saying! You think you have the right to tell me what I can and can't do?" "Maybe I fucking am!" "Well, you can't! You can't do that, you aren't my boyfriend and- fuck if you ever would be." Izzy tensed up I started walking down the road away from him. Izzy and I had never fought before. I was feeling a mixture of emotions trying to process what was happening between us. I know I probably sounded unnecessarily mean

"Get back here!" I could hear his shoes hitting the ground as he tried to catch up with me. "No, leave me alone." "Aren't you being childish about this? I was trying to be nice." "Thanks, but I don't need you to 'be concerned' about me. I have been alone my whole fucking life, so I don't need it now." I stated, turning back around. "That's a fucking lie and you know it! You've had me there with you since we were kids! Don't you remember, or are those the little details you want to forget as well?" He questioned, trying to get close to me again. "Well, I still don't need you now and you know it." "Yeah, right. You've always needed me, who else would you go to when your dad would get fucked up and fight you and your mom, me, and who would defend you no matter what, or give you a place to stay, or anything else. Do you think Axl would do that? Because I know him- I know he fucking wouldn't." "Why would you even do it, if you wanted to throw it back in my face. And I know that Axl would help me if I needed it." I defended, Izzy made a face and threw his hands up.

"Then why is it, when shit goes wrong he runs off. It's you and me. When the lights get cut off when there are bills to be paid when the band needs something or is falling apart. It's always us." I looked down at the broken sidewalk, trying to find an answer for all this somewhere. It was quiet between us, I could hear loud sirens in the distance. Both of us still raging inside. "Don't you understand?" Izzy asked I turned back around to him, a look of hurt was evident on his face. "Of course I do. But there is no reason for you to try to pit me against Axl. Or judge me for stripping, when you go out at all hours of the day and night selling drugs to people."

"I never said I judged you for anything, Kat. You know I wouldn't, I wish you would have said something, ya' know?" Izzy grabbed another cigarette from his coat pocket. "I know, but you said it yourself- I'm stubborn." He gave a disapproving look, inhaling and exhaling some smoke. "We are both a bit stubborn, nothing to apologize for." "I understand, you have been there for me from the beginning. I'm sorry, Izzy." "I'm sorry too, I guess- I could'a handled that better." He chuckled, before continuing. "Is it wrong that-" He paused, "It makes me mad, thinking about men looking at you. Trying to touch you." He looked down sheepishly. I walked back towards him, holding my arms open to him. "I- I don't know, Izzy." I embraced him, petting his black hair. "You just want to protect me." He nodded, laying his head against my shoulder. "I do, it's not like I have anyone else. I guess I need you." He stuttered. "I need you too." Izzy let out a laugh, "Sorry If I was a dick to you." I let him go and began studying his face. "It's alright, I wasn't exactly kind either." "Let's go home?" Izzy suggested. "Sounds like a plan." Izzy threw his arm over my shoulder, as we walked to the car. "Can I have a cigarette?" I asked him, sticking my hand in his shirt pocket. "Well, you're already looking for them. Here." He handed me his cigarettes from his coat. "Thank you, Iz. I'm sorry again." He shook his head, "I'm sorry too, I just love you, ya know?" I smiled and opened the passenger side door to his car, "I know, I love you too." I got in the car, throwing my stuff in the back, Izzy shutting my door for me. Before circling the ride and getting in the driver's side. He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. I was glad that he cared about me, I smiled, someone actually finally loved me.