At first glance

That Step.

No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories - Haruki Murakami.

I want you to open your ears and listen to me.
I know this is something you don't want to hear,  but he isn't coming back. He's dead,  I know you loved him and you will probably always do.  We all loved him baby,  he was my son and I loved a lot but life has to go on.  You can't stop living because he's no more,  he wouldn't have wanted that for you and you know that. Sometimes people Come into our lives for a short while and leave the largest footprint.  What we decide to do after they are gone is up to us,  either good or bad is all left to us.
I'm not saying you should forget him,  and I know it's going to be a long road ahead but I want you to take one step at a time away from this grief and with the help of all of us that love you,  you will get their.  Let's all be strong for each other because I know that's what he would have wanted.

Her words struck a cord deep inside me. It was at that point that I really asked myself "is this what he would have wanted for me?" certainly not.  I had allowed my grief challenge my Iman and I didn't even put into consideration the feelings of all those around me.
I'm so sorry I sobbed into my hands,  I'm sorry I was selfishly thinking about my self only. I.  Sorry I didn't care about how others were feeling around me,  I'm sorry I let my grief get away with me.
It's okay hon, you've earned the right to grief.  No one's blaming you for grieving or feeling the way you're feeling right now, we just want you to know you have shoulders to cry on.  Don't shut us out, we need to be here for you so you can pick up the pieces. We want you to try and be happy.
I know it's not going to be easy, but we need you to try and we will be with you each step of the way,  Standing by you. 

Umma! Will I be able to ever get over this? I asked.
Sure baby! It will take time, but the pain will definitely reduce and you will one day look back and remember him with a smile and not tears and I sure hope you find someone who will love you probably even more than Yasir ever did.
I don't want anyone else, I cried.
It's okay baby, one step at a time.
It hurts to so bad Umma, so bad I said looking at her.

I hear his voice in my ear everywhere, I see his smile anytime I close my eyes Umma. I loved him so much and didn't even realize how much until I lost him and that in its own right hurts just as much as losing him.

I know baby,  but it's true that Allah calls his servants to him at their appointed time and it was Yasir's time so who are we to challenge His authority, huh?
First things first it's time to go back to school, It was a luck that it was my ITF period and throughout this ordeal so I really didn't have any catching up to do with school work except for my industrial training.

As the period is almost over,  I have a brother who works in an architectural  firm, he knows the situation of things and so they've agreed to take you in for the remaining one month and sign up all the required forms for the training,  your department and ITF supervisors are also aware and they've all agreed to go by this because they know what happened and they also know you are a hard working student. So now the rest is up to you,  are you ready to get out and face the world?

That was how I took that first step back to reality and put the pain and grief in the back burner of my life.

There you go,  I have written it. It's more like a filler chapter and all that remains is the epilogue. At First Glance is finally saying goodbye.  Hannan thanks you all for following her story with Yasir. So we will see in d epilogue if she really moves forward from the loss but for now it's ma salama.