Thanatophobia (fear of dying)

A Losing Battle

***

A frighteningly loud gust of wind buffeted the walls around me. And, consequently, I jerked up, feeling as the ear bud tore out of my ear. I picked up my phone and checked the time. It was 2:30 in the morning. Shit, I’d been asleep for awhile…I began cursing under my breath, but stopped short when I heard a scratching sound coming from the floor below. I held my breath as the sound continued. When it stopped, I exhaled a bit before I heard a knocking sound coming from what I thought was my hallway. The sound continued up, hollow until it reached the hatch. It was met with a dull thud. The sound didn’t resonate. Crap. That was when I heard a sigh from below. A chair screeched. I didn’t dare move. Any trace of sleep-inducing melatonin in my system was long gone. Who needs something like caffeine when there’s adrenaline?

I heard the sound of something moving through the air. I was intrigued, but rather than coming closer, on a hunch, I backed away. The next second, I looked where I had just been. A long blade stuck through the floor.

It looked like this time the killer was willing to settle for a murder that didn’t appear to be an accident. He was getting bolder which meant a change of strategy. However, by the look of that knife, I was worried that my killer would try and cut away a new entrance into the attic. If that happened…well…things could get messy.

So, while the knife was still lodged in the wood, I decided to play it cool. I, as silently as possible, attached something onto the end of the knife, so that it couldn’t be pulled out again. Sure enough a little while later, after some audible pacing down below, I saw the knife being pulled downward. However, the killer soon found it to be stuck. I heard another grunt below.

“Jezebel, please cut out all this silent crap.”

I didn’t say a word. It seemed like my potential killer was a male. His voice was deep and rough, though not coarsely so. He could have been any random guy off the street, given the tenor of his voice.

“You know I’m not an idiot. I will kill you eventually. And, I’d really love to do it as quickly and painlessly as possible, so could we please just work together here?”

A thick silence lay in the floor separating us.

“Silent treatment, huh?” I heard another sigh. Then he spoke again, his voice closer, right up against the divider between the ceiling below and the floor above. “If you want I can tell you the way your heart is beating. It’s practically pounding right now in quick palpitations of fear. You’re breathing in, out, in, out.” He continued, timing his voice with the intake and release of air from my lungs. “I know you’re here. So why don’t you just talk to me like a civilized human being? I promise no foul play. I only had one knife, and no gun. I can’t harm you at the moment, even if I do hear your voice.”

I didn’t trust him in the least. However, curiosity always got the best of me. I climbed up the boxes I’d stacked and perched there before answering.

Though I meant to come off as confident, my voice was shaky. “Why- why are you here?”

“You know why as much as you need to. I’m sorry I can’t tell you the exact reason, but believe me it’s for a good cause. From what I know of you, you’d think it’s quite honorable in fact. So, how about coming down here? I have a syringe with your name on it. It would be quick, painless. And, you’ll officially be dying by fire. Think of what a beautiful legacy that would leave. The fire-headed girl who went up in flames. It’s quite symbolic if you ask me.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Hmm.” I heard him tapping his foot. “I see you’re not one for light conversation, but given your position, I wouldn’t be either. I guess I can’t expect you to help me help you. I’m sorry about all of this.”